Sunday, July 26, 2009

Monday 7/27/09 - "SPIRIT, MIND, BODY"


The deterioration of my life due to alcoholism followed this progression - in this order:


My relationship with God had been the main focus of my life from the time I was very young until sometime in my college years. I remember just before I left for my freshman year, a girlfriend and I went to the National Cathedral in Washington, D.C. It was a weekday and we were alone in the gigantic, ornate, and holy sanctuary. I was on my knees at the altar asking God to guide me as I went off to school. I had relied on God for direction, comfort, and hope for many years.

For the next 20 years, I forgot God, stopped looking to Him for guidance and help. I began looking for satisfaction, happiness, and meaning in every other place - in relationships, in excelling in academics, marriage, and children. God was sometimes in the back seat and sometimes not even in the vehicle of my life. This loss of contact with God gradually became a near complete separation.


As my estrangement with God developed, my mental state took a downward turn. Suicidal thinking was frequent. Low self-esteem and total lack of self-confidence was the norm. The lower my self-image plummeted, the less I was capable of healthy thinking. As the years progressed, my thinking became more and more confused and I began to frequent chairs and couches in psychologist and psychiatric offices.


At the age of 35 the progression had destroyed my spirit and mind and the body was next. Alcohol entered my life. Within 3 years, my body was a disaster site. I was 5'5" and weighed about 100 lbs. I was bone and skin, little fat - emaciated. I was unable to work. Alcohol abused me. I couldn't live without it, could not stop drinking.

My recovery occurred
in the reverse order.

Once I stopped drinking for good, my health was gradually restored. I stopped shaking. I no longer put alcohol into my body. I began to sleep, eat, exercise, and participate in normal activities that fostered a return of good health.


As I became healthier and attended Alcoholics Anonymous, my thinking began to straighten out. My mind cleared and I had some self-awareness allowing me to make healthier choices and decisions. My more balanced mind made it possible to ask for and receive help from a sponsor, a trusted counselor, and other recovering friends. I was able to work the 12 steps, restoring me to sanity and helping me learn to live in healthier relationship with others.


As THE result of working the 12 steps I was finally restored to a relationship with God. My new found partnership with God is stronger, deeper, and more vital than the one I had enjoyed as a child.

How grateful I am for the restoration of my life.

Prayer Girl


Steve E. said...

Looks like I got here first--PG, your blogs, one after another, have gotten better with time. And they usually surprise me. That picture is awesome!

Cindy said...

I LOVE this. Have sent a link to my cousin who is seeking sobriety and serenity! I think that she'll really "get" this post!

Kay said...

Reminds me of the poem "footprints in the sand" He was always there with you, carrying you, when you thought he was not there

Shadow said...

and you're living proof of these facts (although i've never seen you, i've seen those same changes in myself physically)

Gin said...

This blog says sooooo much PG. Wonderful idea and you executed it perfectly! Have a wonderful Monday.

Syd said...

I think that my mind and spirit have had a real boost since coming into Al-Anon. My body has stayed the same because I have taken care of it. And genetics has played a big role too.

Paula said...

THanks I just needed to hear that today. The way you described is wonderful. Thanks. Tons of hugs across the pond

Lou said...

Excellent way to present this. A great read!

Gabriella Moonlight said...

Oh dear always are such a source of nourishment to those of us who seek it in mind, body and spirit, this post only goes to prove that you are a miracle...thank you so much!

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

Thanks for this. It reminds me a lot of what I believe. I'm glad now that I recognize, like Kay, that it was the Spirit that carried me all along, that I never really had free-will, I was being carried :)

Dr.John said...

What a wonderful testimony. You went down into the blackness and returned to God.
God, of course, never let go of you.

Cheryl said...

Loved this post.

vicariousrising said...

Did you get sober at age 35? That's how old I was.

I think my decline then recovery has been similar too -- I lost faith, I couldn't figure out what to do with my life or who I was, then my liver began to fail, my heartbeat became erratic and my blood was having trouble clotting and although I could barely keep food down, I was bloated because my digestive system could no longer process carbohydrates.

When I got sober, like you, my body got better and the rest has slowly followed. Actually, it took my body some time to heal as well. And my mind and spirit take turns making progress sometimes. I think those will (and should) continue to blossom for the rest of my life.

I'm so glad to be reading your blog regularly! You have such a wonderful, uplifting attitude.