Friday, January 30, 2009

Saturday, 1/31/09 - "SPIRITUALITY"

(May God bless you as you read.)


Recently I was asked about a passage from the reader, "Hope for Today". This is the book used as the basis for discussion at my Al-Anon home group. The passage came from January 26, 2nd paragraph:

"...there is a spiritual reason for everything.."

A sponsee asked me what I thought about this statement and what did it mean? My immediate reaction was to say, "Yes, I believe that. Of course, absolutely." Thinking about this further, it is a very profound statement and I believe it entirely. Then she asked me to explain it to her. That was more difficult.

I hesitated, thought, and began by saying that as I look over my life, I can see that a loving God has always been in the background or the foreground of all that has happened to me. Whether good or bad things happened, they all led me to a deepened faith and trust in God, a more vital spiritual connection. It was the 12 steps of my Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon programs that brought me to this spiritual awakening and to this particular place in my life.

This lady I was sitting with and discussing this with was experiencing pain from a small growth on her hand and she was about to go to work. I took her finger into my hand and just held it. I had not told her yet how God had blessed me with the gift of a healing touch. She commented that she felt the energy as I held her hand so I told her what happened on that Saturday in December '06. (I explained this in a blog several weeks ago.)

After I returned home I thought further about "...there is a spiritual reason for everything...". Having experienced a totally spiritual phenomena in interactions with others, God using my hands to heal others physically, mentally, or emotionally, stands as a proof to me that "all" is spiritual in nature. This has been a life-changing experience. I feel a responsibility to share this gift with others as I feel led to, either by touching them or by telling them about it.

May God bless you as you read.

Prayer Girl

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Friday, 1/30/09 - "HEAVY"


A million voices screaming entry

To my electric soul

Oh heavy sounds

Tumultuous roaring noise

So weighty, black and dank

Swirling twirling through the eyes
To penetrate deep the hidden mind

So loud a crashing cacophony

Oppressive, chilling, stilling

Hushing the head

Drawing a blanket up around

To mute the monstrous noise

Tune out the crowded frequency

Yet still distorted waves encroach

Till the din subsides its roar

Prayer Girl

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Wednesday 1/28/09 - "JFTNMW"

(JFTNMW I will sit peacefully and serenely in the meadow of my mind)

(Just for today, no matter what!)

JFTNMW I will remember where I came from (an alcoholic with a hopeless state of mind and body), the progress I have made, and realize the distance I have yet to travel in my spiritual journey.

I will remember that I am powerless (over alcohol, what others think, say, or do, and circumstances) and will turn my will and my life over to the care of God that I may have access to His limitless power.

I will count my blessings. I will take time to identify the things I am grateful for such as my sobriety, my loved ones, our health, my needs being met.

I will not consider myself "less than" or "worthless", but rather will see myself as a child of God and of great value.

JFTNMW I will place my husband and children in the palm of God's hand.

I will allow God to throw His heavenly web around me and others that I may be a channel to help them.

I will use the tools I have learned in Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon. I will pray, reach out to other recovering persons, and practice the principles of the program in all my affairs.

I will have courage to allow myself to "touch" others as God "pushes" me to do.

JFTNMW I will drive fear and anxiety away as if they were poison. I will take all necessary steps to switch my perception from the half empty to the half full glass.

I will choose to think well of myself, be satisfied that I have done all that God wanted of me today.

- if I see a lack in myself, I will ask God to help me.

I will not compare myself to others.

I will forgive others, hold no resentments. I will pray for others.

I will live life to the fullest of which I am capable.

I will know:


I AM ENOUGH, just for today

Prayer Girl

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Monday, 1/26/09-"Gee-I LOVE THE LETTER G"

("G" - Giraffe - Geranium - Gingham)


Steveroni played a game on his blog that seemed like huge fun, so I thought I'd play along...and he sent me the letter....G!

The rules of the game are simple. You are assigned a random letter and you should then post 10 things that you love that begin with that letter. If you read this and want to play, leave a comment that says so, and I'll assign you a random letter. And on and on it goes.



Now, I have to assume that Mr. Steveroni gave me the letter "G" 'cause he knew it would make me so happy to have the letter that would allow me to express my tremendous love and gratitude for God. God is "everything" - the beginning, the end, and everything in between - the beginning of my life and sobriety. God is the author of my life and pens every experience I have had and will have. When I keep this foremost in my mind, my life is filled with peace, serenity, and God's power.


Gratitude naturally flows from my love of God. Every good thing that I have ever had, has been a gift from God. I see that now. I am grateful for every experience I have had - the good, the bad, and the not so good. Gratitude feels like beautiful classical or sacramental music - it lifts my spirit to a higher level.

I love the feel of gentle breezes blowing over me and the sound as they move through the tall pines. Gentle touches and gentle words bring healing.


The giraffe seems an elegant, regal, stately animal - full of beauty and grace. Such an unusual animal with quite a long neck. How wonderful to be a creature whose head is almost in the clouds, who can almost see into heaven.


All of life is either growing or withering. I am either growing or withering. I choose growth. Life is full of abundant growth.


I love the sight of an endless meadow of green grass stretching as far as the eye can see. Green also reminds me of what I heard early in sobriety, "Keep the memory green." And, green happens to be my daughter's favorite color.


Love gardens, window boxes, carts full of all vibrant colors of geraniums.


When I was in junior high school I took home economics and I learned to sew. One of my most favorite projects was a gingham dress that I dearly loved.


Grace - gifts from God. I am sober by the grace of God.


I make a homemade strawberry pie that is the favorite of all my family. It is at it's best made in a graham cracker crust. Love graham crackers with butter too.

I'm so glad I finally felt well enough to be able to complete my "Love the Letter G"!

Prayer Girl

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Friday, 1/23/09 - "THANK YOU FOR THE LEMONADE!

(I'm beginning to come up out of "hunkering down")


My dear friends Shadow, Tyra, and MaryLA have all graciously awarded me the lemonade award. It is all about finding people that display a great attitude and/or gratitude in this day and time. That is very important to have.

Thank you very much Shadow, Tyra, and Louisey, your attitudes and gratitude have lifted me time and again.
I have been unable to concentrate or focus enough to write a blog, but I'm feeling a little better and am awake at 1:00 a.m. (At least I got two hours sleep before I found myself awake again. That's a good thing.) When I'm done with this short post, I'll try for a few more hours of "good" sleep.

As I look backward, I find myself wondering how in the world did I manage to get done all that I did when I was still working? As I read a lot of your blogs, I hear lots of you doing so much - work, kids, a home to keep up, cooking, getting sober, staying sober, meetings, getting sick, running, working out, kids getting sick - just so much - plates overflowing. And still you find time to blog and comment. AMAZING!

My hat is off to all of you. I'm pretty busy these days, but it is nothing like the way it was. I know when I was still working I would have been going to work - cold or no cold. Don't know how I did it!

I'll close with a quote.
"Forever is composed of nows." - Emily Dickinson

Prayer Girl

P.S. I thank everyone for their kind comments wishing me well and prayers to feel better soon. They help.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Tuesday, 1/20/09 - "HUNKERED DOWN


I've got the letter "G" to work on, but for right now, I'm just working on getting back to feeling normal. I've been living with a guy with a "real" cold for almost a week now. I've done everything possible to stay cold-free, but, hey, we breathe the same air - the inhale and the exhale part. So....I finally succumbed. I'm hoping mine will be milder and last a shorter time.

In the meantime, I'm taking care of myself. I'm hunkered down like the fella above (though I'm in a nice warm spot.) Just wanted you to know what was happening.

Love you,
Prayer Girl

(Photo credit: Cottontail by Richard B.)

Monday, January 19, 2009

Monday, 1/19/09 - "HOLD US IN YOUR HAND"


Dear God, hold all of us in Your hand today!

Me - Prayer Girl



Extended family members



Those in the hospital

The sick of mind, body and/or spirit

Blogger friends and their loved ones

Church family

Our well-being

Our peace of mind and serenity

Our sanity

The value of life

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Sunday, 1/18/09 - "FAN THE FLAME"


O Holy Lord
O Holy God
O Holy Sweet Creator

See our faith

Breathe your holy breath upon it

Fan that faith into a flame

Grow that flame into a roaring fire

With no depth or height or width at all

A flame so brilliantly intense

It lightens up the dark, the lost

Guides, sustains us through it all

Til we walk in sunshine on our own
Prayer Girl

Friday, January 16, 2009

Saturday, 1/17/09 - "THE PLANE"

every Friday, compose a short story of 55 words - no more, no less. if you want to join in the fun and games and give it a your story and report to the boss G-Man!


Metal screaming, screeching, twisting, turning, all around me, surrounding me. The lap belt snug and tight.

There is total silence, a hush. Are others alive? Am I alive?

I wiggle my toes, fingers, hands, feet - they're all as they should be.

I stand up without unbuckling, slowly drifting through the solid metal of the airplane.

By Prayer Girl

NOTE: To clarify the above 55 words - they describe a dream I had of my own death.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Friday 1/16/09 - "I REMEMBER WHEN"

I remember when I used to stand in the snow as silent flakes fell softly to surround me.


It's so easy to recall the negatives of the past, but I'm choosing to "remember whens" that are positive, healing, and fill my soul with a feeling of warmth and love.

"I remember when" I used to stand in the snow as silent flakes fell softly to surround me. It would be early morning, waking up, seeing the falling snow creating a fresh cover over everything. I would be bundled up by my mother into my snow pants, jacket, gloves, earmuffs, and hat. I would step outside into that wonderful world of white, all alone as the flakes fell around me. I would wander through this magical downfall to the corner house at the end of the block where there was a gigantic evergreen in the yard. I would crawl underneath the snow-laden boughs into a secret place of my very own - a quiet hiding place in a quiet world of snow.

"I remember when" I was as flexible as a human pretzel. That's the way my dance teacher described me. I loved dance all the years of my childhood. I loved my teacher, Mary Lou, a wonderful teacher, warm and loving person, and terrific role model. She took such an interest in all of her students and I felt that special attention she placed on me. She had been a Radio City Music Hall Rockette. That was a dream of mine for years to be a Rockette like her, but it never materialized.

"I remember when" we had ink wells in grade school and when our Parker ink pens went dry, we would go to the inkwell to fill them. In a daring move, I and my friends would often use that opportunity to exchange forbidden communications. We would slip tightly folded notes under the blotter the ink well rested on. We were never caught though I'm sure the teacher had to know this was happening.

"I remember when" I "won" my first puppy. Never had a small child ever felt so big, so special. I was with my family at my father's annual company picnic. This was 1950. There were lots of people there, plenty of them children and they had a drawing for an adorable little black and white Cocker mix puppy. I fell in love with that little fluffy dog the first time I saw her and when my name was drawn and read, I almost died with delight. Years later I found out it had been prearranged with and approved by my parents for me to win. That did not diminish my happiness in the least. What a wonderful surprise gift my parents gave me. What a loving act.

"I remember when" I was not yet "Prayer Girl".
And now I can "remember that" I am.....Prayer Girl.

(Photo Credit: Catching Snow Flakes by Nicholas Fresch)

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Thursday, 1/15/09 - "AFFIRMATIONS EXPANDED"

When a BIG dog four times my size surrounds me,
I use affirmations to dispel the fear.


Affirmations are powerful.
I want more. Here are more.

  • God has me firmly surrounded by His loving power.
  • God dispels my fears.
  • God protects me from all anxiety.
  • God lifts me up onto a clear, fresh, and sunshiny plane.
  • I continue till the miracles happen.
  • All is well.
  • Wonderful things are happening.
  • I never limit God.
  • I rest in God's presence.
  • I pray, I wait, God's plans unfold.
  • I am filled with laughter.
  • I hear God in the wind.
  • I smell God in the fresh rain that falls.
  • I see God in the flowers, trees, animals, all of nature.
  • I see God in you and in me.
  • My life is unfolding with perfect timing.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Wednesday 1/14/09 - "THE PACT"

(This one is a little on the weird side, but I take them as they come. This poem is a beautiful love story in eternity.)


They were sealed as one

In the pact they'd spun

By a silver wire they bent

A twist in figure eight

'Bout their wrist-crossed fate

The glint of thread tight circled the twain

Pale hand to hand - pulsing vein to vein

In an instant flash they jerked apart

But their flesh gave way before their heart

And a life line opened within the part

Their eyes locked tight as the life ebbed fore

Yet never a drop touched to the floor

Their sweet lives mingled each one to one

And they lay to rest their bodies poor

Never to part - ever more

Prayer Girl

(Photo Credit: (NGC 1569: Starburst in a Dwarf Irregular Galaxy
Credit: NASA, ESA, Hubble Heritage (STScI/AURA); Acknowledgement: A. AloisiSTScI/ESA) et al.

Monday, January 12, 2009



(God doesn't need my help, but He does want my cooperation)

Nothing is more thrilling, exhilarating, or motivating than communication with God. I'm not talking about verbal, sitting down over a cup of coffee kind of speaking, but the kind where events transpire one after another and lead to a specific outcome that "seems" directed by God.

In these moments, there is sometimes a sense of being compelled to a certain action or goal or just saying something without thinking first. This sense I attribute to the pushing of my Higher Power, God. These moments have occurred periodically throughout my life. I have not always known these events were of God, but today I do know.

I have shared one such experience in a past blog and recently described the "healing touch". A few other instances of these spiritual moments follow.

Gospodi Pomiluj talks about "Centering Prayer" (Tuesday 1/6/09). She speaks of a word coming to her that she uses to stay focused. When I was in my 20s a number came to me. I was working in a research hospital and one day a number repeated itself three times in a short period of time during a morning and afternoon. The cost of an item I had to buy at the hospital supply store was $1.41. Later in the cafeteria, the cost of what I purchased to eat was $1.41. I noticed this repetition for some reason. I went to the office and mentioned this coincidence to the secretary. I then asked her to order something for me that had to come from outside the hospital. As I left the office, she called me back to tell me the price of what I wanted her to order was $1.41 per unit. WOW! It hit me in a very strong way. I "knew" it was a number intended for me. At the time, I didn't know how, from whom, or why that number came. Over all the intervening years whenever I see this number (and sometimes it is quite often) I say,
"Hello, God".

At age 35, I found myself again connected in a special way with something bigger than myself. At that time I did not understand what was happening, but today I believe it was God.
I was working in a nursing home and had been there two years. There was a dreaded State inspection occurring. This was an event that involved great scrutiny of all records, procedures, documentation, every i and t needing to be dotted and crossed. There was always a high level of anxiety at these times and worry that a staff person would be "called-out" over some infraction of the rules or imperfection.

I was working in an activities and social services position at the time. Late morning of the survey day I was in the small lunchroom alone with a cup of coffee. The assistant Director of Nursing (DON), a large woman who I knew only as a fellow staffer, not personally, walked in. She was extremely upset and she told me the inspectors had found problems with the restraint records which were her responsibility. (Anytime it is necessary to restrict a patient's movement it is a very serious action requiring detailed documentation.) She was worried that she would be in terrible trouble with her bosses.

When she finished speaking, I found myself weaving a story for her. I did not think this out in advance. I just started talking.

I asked her to see herself in a room around a large conference table. I asked her to think about how she would feel if she was seated around that table with all the people involved in the survey - her bosses, peers and reviewers and she was being praised in front of them. She said it would feel great, but it wasn't happening.

Several hours later I was paged to the phone over the intercom. When I got to the phone, the Assistant DON said to me, "Are you a witch or something?". I was shocked. I said, "Of course not." I asked why she asked me that. She told me at the survey exit interview, the reviewers praised her in front of everyone for the safety plans she had written. Very strange happening. I never forgot this incident.

These episodes produce such a feeling of euphoria that if they didn't result strictly in helping others, I would flee from them as I would an alcohol or drug "high". But they aren't caused by substances - they are from God.

God bless all you bloggers.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Monday 1/12/09 - THOUGHTS ON A BOOK


I picked up a book at the library the other day kind of like closing my eyes, pointing my finger, touching a book and choosing it to read. It is a biography by Anne Lamott called "Traveling Mercies - Some Thoughts on Faith". I had never heard of the book or the author, but it looked interesting.

On the back cover it said, "With an exuberant mix of passion, insight, and humor, Anne Lamott takes us on a journey through her often troubled past to illuminate her devout but quirky walk of faith......tells how, against all odds, she came to believe in God and then, even more miraculously, in herself."

This grabbed my attention. I could identify with having a troubled past. I could also relate to the idea of a quirky walk of faith since I had traveled many highways and byways of religious and spiritual thought. I also believe that I have miraculously survived alcoholism and my crazy mind against all odds. I believe in God and now believe in myself.

I have read about a sixth of the book so far and have found two quotes that stick in my mind.

Here is a one that struck me as totally hilarious. Maybe my sense of humor is warped - maybe not. But if I'm laughing, then it's got to be a good thing.

"At Christmas there were Fishhouse punches so alcoholic you could have sterilized needles in them..." p.27
(Rumor has it that the Fish House Punch Recipe was created in colonial times at the State Fishing and Social Club in Pennsylvania. The passage of so much time would indicate that this punch tastes better than its name suggests.)

There was another one with a very different effect on me. It describes quite well the place I found myself at the point of awaking from my last drunk and totally surrendering.

"And since this side of the grave you could never know for sure if there was a God, you had to make a leap of faith, if you could, leaping across the abyss of doubt with fear and trembling."

I was full of escalating doubt and fear as I arrived at the point of total surrender to alcohol. I took that leap of faith and went for broke. When my eyes opened from that last drunk, I made a decision to rely on God only and completely. I realized I didn't have much more to lose and I became willing. It was with trembling (the physical effects of that last episode left me shaking and sick) that I walked back into that Alcoholics Anonymous meeting that day and began my journey into sobriety.

Well, that's my blog for today.
Love and prayers,
Prayer Girl

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Sunday 1/11/09 - What's On My Heart Tonight?


My husband is on my heart.
My husband is always on my heart. God worked a miracle when He managed to bring us together. I am always mindful that our relationship is God-given and God-blessed. A dear friend of mine told me something that applies whenever someone (anyone) is saying or doing something I don't like or would like to change. She said to repeat, "Bless him/her, change me." I love this thought.

My children are on my heart tonight.

My son is on my heart.
I'm 20 rows into a kitted pillow covering for my daughter-in-law-to-be. I decided on a different pattern from the one I did for my mother many years ago. I found a pattern on-line and went and bought the yarn yesterday. I have not done a project like this for a long time. I find it motivating and fulfilling to work on. I just want to please her and I know that will please my son. I pray for him and his fiance.

My daughter is on my heart.

My daughter is still unemployed. Her unemployment is weighing heavy on her heart which pulls down on mine. She is becoming dispirited. We talked on the phone for quite a while. She is thinking of getting a dog. We always had dogs as she was growing up, but she has been without a pet since she left for college and is now on her own. We also discussed having meaningful activity. We talked about the possibility of her volunteering so she can feel she is doing something of value even as she is looking for employment. We agreed that being without a routine is not good and establishing some regular activities may help her. I pray for her. I pray for the man she loves.

My sponsees are on my heart.
Each individual that God has brought into my life is precious to me. What a blessing it is to me to be speaking with them and working steps with them using the Alcoholics Anonymous program in some instances and the Al-anon program in others. In some cases, it is very slow going, but I know God is in charge and patience, honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness will ultimately take us where we need to go.

God is on my heart.
The best prayer and meditation for me is often just being still in the presence of God. Sometimes, I just tell myself to turn off my thoughts with the exception of thinking, "I'll just sit here in the presence of God. I'll just let God pour into me." This fills my heart with joy and satisfaction.

My blogging companions are on my heart.
Those of you that I have met in this blog world have revealed yourselves to me in your blogs. I honor each of you and value what you share. I thank you for your honesty and I appreciate the time involved in your sharing.

Prayer is on my heart.
I'm praying!
Prayer Girl

Friday, January 9, 2009

Saturday 1/10/09 - Interview with a Prayer Girl

(To use Steveroni's phrase, this ended up a "blong")

There’s a game going around. I found it at Shadow's blog. I was game to play so she sent me these questions. If you want to play too, check out the rules at the bottom…

1. if your husband were to give you a surprise, in any shape, form or action, what would please you the most?

A trip to Italy

2. what was the worst argument you had with the person who taught you how to drive a car/ride a bike?

I'm not much of an argumentative person. Rather than argue, I tend to pout, give the "silent treatment". (Getting better in this regard, I hope.) My father taught me how to drive a car and I don't remember any arguments. My initial instruction in riding my scooter was from none other than Mr.SteveroniPants. I remember one day his instruction involved practicing
certain maneuvers by following his lead. He was, in my estimation, being a MrSmartyPants, not realizing my actual ability or lack thereof, and making moves that were way above my skill level. I was afraid of falling over. Finally, I just stopped in the middle of an area of the parking lot as he continued weaving, turning, stopping, and drove out of sight. Eventually I got moving again and drove to where he had finally parked. That's as close as I got to an argument.

3. we all like to eat healthy foods, within certain dietary guidelines. which one item, is your favourite ‘downfall’?

Trying to name just one item of all my favorite food "downfalls" was really tough. I adore sugar in general - candies, cookies, cakes, pies, as well as all kinds of junk food that turn into sugar once you eat them. So, one item......I guess I'll pick CHOCOLATE FUDGE!

4. tell me more about your ‘ministry of healing touch’, what it is, what it means to you, what it means to whom it is applied.

The ministry of healing touch. What is it? Good question. I have an answer I have cobbled together based on the sequence of events and conversations with my parish priest. For me, I can characterize it best by describing what happened the first time I came to know for myself what it was and that I had it.

On a Saturday in December of '06, I was sitting with my husband in our parish Church and felt compelled (mental thing) to hold his arthritic hand and I just kept thinking his hand would be healed. Later that night I was playing cards with a group of girls. One of the girls had asthma, had forgotten her inhaler, and was having more and more difficulty breathing as the night went on. One side of my mind had the "compelling" desire to get up, go over, and place my hands on her back. I did not reason this out, just felt it so strongly. The other side of my brain said to me, "Are you crazy? What will they think? What if nothing happens?". The war went on in my mind till I finally got up, went to the girl, placed my hands on her back
and immediately her breathing became normal. She was stunned. I was stunned. I went home in excited shock and told hubby all about it. Two days later he told me the arthritis in his hand was healed that day in the church. (He waited two days to tell me to be "sure" the pain was really gone.)

There have been many other instances since then. I can only say that I believe that God uses my hands as a channel to heal. I don't know why. I just know He does. I only know that something has happened if the other person tells me. Sometimes there is an immediate physical healing or relief that I can see. Sometimes healing relief happens later. There are also times when what happens seems to be more in the realm of spiritual or emotional healing - people express a feeling of peace. Sometimes people say they feel a great deal of heat coming from my hands. I don't feel it.

I was thrilled and scared. I didn't understand what was going on. I went to see our priest and explained what was happening. He told me this was one of the many kinds of spiritual gifts and it is not uncommon for people to have spiritual gifts.

He also told me three things.
One, it's not about me.

Two, God has his purposes.

Three, don't limit God.

What does it mean to me?

It's hard to put this into words. It means everything to me. Life is full of mystery and the supernatural. The supernatural is God interacting in this world - NOW, TODAY, not just in the past. This entire experience has humbled me especially when I realize I have no power over this healing touch. God is totally in charge and I remain willing to be of service.

What does it mean to others?

I mostly don't know - it is a very personal thing between them and God. Most people don't know what to say to me. Those with a belief in God often have that belief reinforced. I'm sure more will be revealed.

5. describe the place (anywhere in the world) you would most like to live, be it real or imaginary.

The place I would most like most to live is in the mountains. I absolutely adore mountains and I miss the change of seasons that I grew up with. I remember rhododendron, cherry blossoms, and azaleas in glorious profusion in Spring. I remember the beauty of the colored leaves on and off the trees in Fall. I love the beauty of snow in the Winter and the green everywhere in the Summer. In my perfect place, snow would remain for short periods of time and my electric would never go out. My mountain home would always have the perfect amount of rain and snow so that the creeks and streams would always bubble downhill in the Spring and Summer.

The Rules
  • Leave me a comment saying: interview me
  • Comments with e-mail addresses will not be published to preserve privacy
  • I will e-mail you five questions. I get to pick the questions
  • You can then answer the questions on your blog
  • You should also post these rules along with an offer to interview anyone else who e-mails you wanting to be interviewed
  • Anyone who asks to be interviewed should be sent 5 questions to answer on their blog
  • It would be nice if the questions were individualized for each blogger
So, who's up for it????

(Photo Credit: Praying Angel by Matt Birbiglia)

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Friday, 1/9/09 - Moving Out of the Darkness, Back into the Light!

(These babies are made of cake frosting - marzipan. A very talented lady made them. They are unbelievable! Every detail is amazing - they look VERY real. Marzipan is Almond paste: a sweet paste made of ground almonds and sugar, often with egg whites or yolks, used as a layer in cakes or molded into ornamental shapes.)


  • Yesterday I looked up the recipe for the Olive Garden's "Zuppa Toscana" that both hubby and I love. This morning I spent 2 hours making it. There was no guarantee it would turn out as tasty as the restaurant version. (The comments on the web site where I found the recipe promised it would be even better.) It exceeded our expectations . We sampled it for lunch and had it again for dinner. Cooking can be a creative endeavor, a healing activity. For me, today, it was just that!
  • I received many encouragements through the comments on my blog. I hate admitting I might "need" this encouragement, but the truth is - I do! I still harbor a remnant of the belief that I can be totally self-sufficient. It is a lie I tell myself sometimes. It never turns out well.
  • I am having e-mail correspondence with a blogger that is very rewarding. Our communication has reminded me of the mysteries of God in our lives.
  • In December I responded to a J-Online blog in the affirmative and as a result she sent me a wonderful gift. I went to open the front door yesterday to let the cool air in and there at the door was the package. It contained some of the most beautiful gifts - an angel that will join my angel family on my desk, a beautiful cross, a bracelet that is just like one I have wanted, writing paper, a journal, and all packed in an original decorated box that is now my "GOD BOX". It doesn't get much better than this!!!
  • I went to work out at the gym for the 2nd time this week. It is too easy to get out of the habit. While there, I spoke with a woman I'm hoping to have as a personal trainer. My "insides" tell me she's the one even though her schedule is very full. I believe it will work out.
  • A sponsee that I've been concerned about - who has not been calling regularly (she was on my mind yesterday and again today) finally called me. I was relieved to hear from her.
  • The weather is a little cooler today, high 72 rather than 80. I am delighting in the crispness of the air. Great weather for cycling.
  • I have just had the idea to try making a wedding gift for my daughter-in-law-to-be. I knitted a pillow covering with an intricate pattern on it 40 years ago for my mother. My parents are gone now, but that pillow sits on my sofa. I still have the pattern. I'm going to get the pattern book, my needles, and yarns out and see what I can come up with. I love starting projects. Finishing them is sometimes another matter, but we'll see... :)
Prayer Girl

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Thursday, 1/8/09 - GRATITUDE

(Note: My brain is creating havoc in my head these days. I'm still bouncing all over the place since Christmas. The gist of my angst is that "very old bugaboo" - "low self-esteem". I say to myself, mercy - mercy, isn't that issue dead and buried in the ground yet??? Apparently not!)

After a few days of wrestling with old demons, I decided to just keep it simple and blog a gratitude list.


I am grateful that I "never" think of taking a drink.

I am grateful that I still love my Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon meetings.

I am grateful that I have taken the time to develop a relationship with my sponsor - taken time to get to know her and had the courage and honesty to let her know who I am.

I am grateful that I trust my sponsor.

I am grateful that I know when I get into difficult mental places that "this too shall pass".

I am grateful that I know that God is close to me, is interested in me, cares for me, and always guides me no matter how I may be "feeling".

I am grateful for family.

I am grateful that I have "made a decision" to turn my will and my life over to the care of God and that as long as I don't take that decision back, I know I will never have to return to the way I used to be.

I am grateful for friends, sponsees, family, and others who care for me.

I am grateful for all the spiritual experiences I have had in my life.

I am grateful I was able to get this post written.

I am grateful for the power of prayer.

Prayer Girl

(Photo Credit: My Own Fairy Tale by Sandmanns Frau)

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Monday night 1/5/09 - "Twelfth Night Gift"


Twelfth Night or Epiphany Eve is a festival in some branches of Christianity marking the coming of the Epiphany, concluding the Twelve Days of Christmas, and is defined by the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary as "the evening of the fifth of January, preceding Twelfth Day, the eve of the Epiphany, formerly the last day of the Christmas festivities and observed as a time of merrymaking".

My mother used to love to have "Twelfth Night" parties. She loved entertaining and that was a favorite party date. In memory of my mother, here is a "Twelfth Night" gift for you.


A gentle calm - still, quiet air descends

Falling like a silent coverlet of snow

Swathing in beauty the ordinary raiment of daily fare

Powdering crystalline the empty syllables and commonplace replies

The school-taught, teacher-learned, man-made words are hushed

As phrases featherlight as snowflakes drift about
Preparing a special link of thoughts and words

Meant to say - be joy, be peace, be love

The gift to you is you, that closest and most sure of all

Listen! As if listening for the flutter of a far-off bird

Watch! As though watching for that first bright evening star

Feel! As though floating, drifting inward to your own

Falling through yourself - that self-made door
Cascading through into the inner universal light
To that place of purest feelings felt

Within the deepest core rests the whole

A masterpiece of symphonated sound will greet your inward ear

A portrait pulsing with profoundest hues will touch your inner eye
You are the work of art beyond the hand and ear

The essence of all masters put to real

Joy, peace, love - not letters ranged in rows

But self-essences to know

They are met within - at eye-blink reach

To touch, to see, to feel, to be
Prayer Girl

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Sunday 1/4/09 - "NEW YEAR'S EVOLUTIONS""


FOR 2009

Evolution (definition): A gradual process in which something changes into a different and usually more complex or better form.

Most years I decide on New Year's Resolutions and by the end of the week or even the day in which I made them, they are gone from my head for the duration of the year. Sometimes I try to remember last year's when the new year rolls around, but seldom can remember.

This year I have decided to think in more gradual terms because that is how changes happen for me.

So......(for me)........ WHAT NEEDS EVOLVING?

Appreciation of each moment.

Artistic expressions:

Writing poems, writing in general

Drawing and painting

Physical well-being:

Less eating
Healthy eating



Prayer life

Conversations with God


Getting out of myself:

Finding an AA home group
Working with others

Ministry of "presence"
Ministry of "healing touch"

Ministry of "prayer"

The art of "Listening"

Practicing being satisfied.

Being a "prayer" girl!

Photo credit: Recursive Stained Glass - By Gadl - (License)

Friday, January 2, 2009

Saturday 1/3/09 - "HAPPINESS IS...."

(Ohhhhh, I'm soooo happy - and soooo excited!)


"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." - Mahatma Gandhi

Happiness according to Prayer Girl:

Happiness is when your son and his wonderful wife-to-be come to visit.

Happiness is the knowledge that my son and his fiance are well suited for each other.

Happiness is watching the happiness of my son as he interacts with the woman he has found to live his life with.

Happiness is spending the day with them having Starbucks triple grande coffees, browsing the elegant shops of our downtown tourist district, and laughing and reminiscing.

Happiness is cooking a Christmas/New Year's meal that didn't leave me exhausted and everyone enjoyed.

Happiness is playing games - UNO and Rummikub - with them.

Happiness is having my son show me how to use the espresso machine I have had for years, but could not remember how to use.

Happiness is being sober and having harmony in what I think, say, and do.

Happiness is having the freedom to make choices every day.

Happiness is having found the right man for me.

Happiness is being able to write a short blog and knowing that's O.K.

Happiness is being Prayer Girl and praying.
Prayer Girl

Thursday, January 1, 2009



OUT with 2008
IN with 2009

OUT with fear
IN with faith and trust

OUT with worry
IN with hope

OUT with preoccupation with what you think of me
IN with seeing how I can be of service to others

OUT with sloth
IN with exercise

OUT with the illusion of control
IN with acceptance of my powerlessness

OUT with feeling overwhelmed by powerlessness
IN with prayer

OUT with excess
IN with moderation

OUT with fat, bad carbs, and too much sugar
IN with healthy eating habits

OUT with just thinking about what I want to do
IN with "doing it"

OUT with resistance to change
IN with embracing change

OUT with negativity
IN with God

OUT with loneliness
IN with reaching out to others

OUT with illness
IN with healing

OUT with ill will towards others
IN with love

OUT with judgment, censorship, and criticism of self and others
IN with compassion

OUT with EGO
IN with God's will

OUT with sleepless nights
IN with restful sleep

OUT with discord
IN with peace

OUT with old goals
IN with new ones

Happy New Year to all my blog friends,
Prayer Girl