Wednesday 11/11/09 - "I WISH!!!"

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY
"I WISH!!!!!!!!!!!"

Prayer Girl

Tuesday 11/10/09 - "AN UNEXPECTED GIFT"

"AN UNEXPECTED GIFT"

I never know what will happen when I show up to volunteer at the hospital. Sometimes I am assigned to one of the two towers of the hospital and sometimes the other. I never know whether there will be a lot of people requesting pastoral visits or just a few. My priority is to visit those requesting pastoral care first before seeing those admitted more recently.

Today, the tower that tends to be the more difficult (in my opinion) and is generally assigned to the gentleman I shadowed when I first started, was the one I was assigned. My mentor was sick. There were a lot of requests for visits.

The very first woman I saw turned out to be a blessing, a gift to me. As I entered her room, it was dark and quiet. I softly called out her name and she beckoned me to enter. I told her who I was and why I was there. She said she would like me to visit. She apologized right away because she was feeling very sick, nauseous, and was sucking on some type of medication to relieve the nausea.

I sat down and asked her some general questions about herself. She quietly answered. After several minutes I asked if I could hold her hand, she said yes, and I took hold of her right hand with my left one. She gripped mine strongly and I placed my right hand over our clasped hands. We just sat in the silence, in the darkened room, this way, for what seemed a long time. In that silence, she suddenly said to me, "You have a gift". I was surprised and told her, "Yes, I do. I have a healing touch." I told her it was the first time I could remember someone saying that to me so spontaneously. She told me it surprised her that I took hold of her right hand. She said a year previously she had broken a finger on that right hand and when it healed had physical therapy. But there was pain that remained in that finger. When I held her hand that pain left. I had been praying in my mind as I usually do as I held her hand.

We held hands and talked a little longer. She was waiting to be taken for some type of procedure using a scope inserted down her esophagus. Near the end of the visit, we prayed. I asked her if there was anywhere else she wished me to touch and she immediately asked for a hug. I took her in my arms and as we embraced I found tears coming to my eyes. She said, "Please don't cry" and I told her they were tears of joy. She then told me she was feeling better in general. I walked out of this young woman's room (she was 36) feeling as though my feet were not touching the floor. I have felt lifted up the rest of the day.

All I can say now is, "Thank you God for this beautiful gift you have given me." It gives hope and relief, peace and calm to troubled people, people in pain. And what it does for me is indescribably wonderful. I am humbled to have been blessed in this way. I am filled with gratitude.

I share this story that it might uplift others as it lifts me up.

Prayer Girl

P.S. I did go to the gym after volunteering - first time in almost two weeks. It felt good and I'm so glad I followed through. It boosts my confidence to do what I know is good for me, to take care of myself.

Monday 11/9/09 - "A QUICK BLOG"

"A QUICK BLOG"

This is not a picture of me - wrong age - but she looks how I feel today. I feel pretty darn good.

Yesterday was another jam packed day. It began with my home group Al-Anon meeting where we talked a lot about boundaries. That would be a blog for another time. It was a great topic and a great meeting.

I met with a sponsee to work on step 10. We are using the Al-Anon book, "Paths to Recovery". It never ceases to amaze me how people gradually change. They read a step, answer questions, we discuss, they continue to live life one day at a time, go to meetings, call their sponsor and other program friends, develop a relationship with their higher power, and - - they begin to get better.

After that meeting I saw sweet daughter at the treatment facility. Hubby and I went and it was so wonderful to see her. We saw her room, the areas where she is living her life for this month. We sat outside in the cool breezes and talked about whatever came to mind. Her sponsor was there when we arrived. Oh happy day! The half hour blew by too quickly. I know I will see her again before next visiting day somewhere at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting just like I did on Saturday. The ladies from the center were brought to the noon women's meeting I attend regularly.

Fast forward through to today. I am leaving for the hospital soon. I have not been to the gym in about two weeks and I vow I'm going after volunteering. Please hold me to it, bloggers. After that, I'll be meeting up with Mr. Steve for my favorite Starbucks latte.

A little cooler weather is scheduled to arrive in a day or two. I'm excited and eagerly look forward to that with happy anticipation.

I am grateful today - grateful:
to be able to live in the moment more frequently than I used to

to believe in the power of prayer and to pray often

to have candles in my family room that I can light and watch the smoke drift to heaven with my prayers mingled there

for the tremendous love I feel and joyfully act upon for my husband, daughter, son, and son's wife

for my kitty and doggy - may they develop peace and maybe even some companionship between them

for my blogging community, my blogger friends

Love and prayers,
Prayer Girl

Sunday 11/8/09 - "BLESSING THE ANIMALS "

"BLESSING THE ANIMALS"

I'll start with a follow-up comment of my own about yesterdays blog, "Lucky & Bert".

The six words, "Peace is a work in progress" can be clarified at the present moment in this way:
Progress is very slow
Peace seems to be a very distant possibility
It will take a lot of work
I have faith

This is why I chose for my blog a photo of a mural, "The Blessing of the Animals", depicting St. Francis of Assisi who had such love for all living creatures.

I ask St. Francis to bless the progress towards peace that Lucky and Bert are making.

Some other blessings I ask God for:

Please bless alcoholics and addicts everywhere who are:
Not even aware yet of the disease they harbor in their mind, body, and spirit. May their lives bring them to a place of awareness and subsequent surrender that they may discover the possibility of health and a new life

Newly sober and straight people struggling to live one day at a time without using a substance to cope with life. Place in their lives recovering people, circumstances, and experiences that will encourage them to "go to any lengths" to hold on to their new lives.

Sober and straight for years, but struggling with situations that are challenging. Help them remember that their sobriety is the most important thing in their lives, to reach out for help, and rely on God for the strength they lack.

I pray blessings for the many who have lost their jobs, had their work hours cut, or are in fear of losing their livelihood. May they live in today and rely on God for their daily bread.

Bless those who are being or have been abused in any way. Knowing that God can turn even the worst of experiences to the good, we ask God to guide us.

Today has been another very busy and emotional day. Time to pull the shades on this 24 hours, turn out the lights, and sleep in the care of God.

Goodnight to all you bloggers. I love you.

Prayer Girl

Saturday 11/7/09 - "LUCKY & BERT"

SIX WORD SATURDAY
"LUCKY & BERT"

PEACE IS A WORK IN PROGRESS!

Prayer Girl

Friday 11/6/09 - "BETWEEN THE ATOMS"

FLASH FICTION FRIDAY 55

"BETWEEN THE ATOMS"

It slipped into my soul on breath of gentle breeze
Arrived on unseen angels' whispering willowy wings
Came captured in the wispy Queen Anne's airy lace
Was layered in the vibrant colors bright, as butterflies alight

Thank God my gaze was held between the atoms' silent spiraling spaces small
For there, was love, in all

Prayer Girl

Flash Fiction Friday 55
is a story written in exactly 55 words.
Let the G-Man know if you write one
and read the ones of your fellow writers.

Thursday 11/5/09 - "FEAR WILL LEAVE US"

First - thank you Dream Dancer for this blog award.
I appreciate the award and your kind words written on your blog.
Love you much.

"FEAR OF PEOPLE AND OF
ECONOMIC INSECURITY
WILL LEAVE US"

("Alcoholics Anonymous", p. 84 - 9th 9th step promise)

I just realized that I never finished my blog series on the 9th step promises. The last one written was the 8th promise and that was blogged on 9/13/09. Life has sidetracked me. I'm ready, at least for today, to pick up where I left off. That brings me to the 9th promise, "Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us."

In the beginning of my sobriety I was filled with fears of all kinds. Many of them were nameless, but there were plenty I could put a label on. I was unemployed and unemployable at the end of my drinking. Eventually I did get a job, but it paid barely over minimum wage. Within a year or so I was separated and then divorced. I had two children to care for and though I got the house, I also got the mortgage. My car was old and prone to breaking down. I was in constant fear that I would not be able to pay my bills. I was forever filling out pieces of paper with lines down the center. On one side would be the income figures and on the other side of the line the expenses. It was always in the red and worried and talked about it a lot. But somehow I always managed to pay the bills month after month and year after year. Over the years my income increased and God continued to meet my financial needs in His way. Through these experiences, I have lost that fear of economic insecurity. I know today that God will take care of me as long as I do my part.

The job I found was surely God-sent, but that did not prevent me from fearing the people I worked for and with. I was in fear that I would not do a good enough job, fear that I would disappoint my employer. I was even fearful of other people in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. I know now that most of my fear of people stemmed from my perfectionism, people-pleasing personality, and plain old low self-esteem. I was afraid to approach people talking in groups after an AA meeting. I was sure that my presence would be intrusive. What a horrible feeling. It probably took at least a year for that to improve. I finally came to believe that people really could just like me the way I was. I know now that I came to this belief when I finally accepted and liked myself.

These changes in me came about as a result of not drinking and working the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. What a miracle it is to watch a life be transformed as the result of doing the work required by the steps. I experienced this miracle myself and am awed every time I watch these same changes in a sponsee or other newcomer.

How grateful I am to live a life without the burden of overwhelming fears. There is power in the steps - of that I am sure.

Prayer Girl
(Photo credit: against the tide by midnightskies7 at deviant art.com)