Thursday 12/31/09 - "2009 AND ME"

"2009 AND ME"

It is good. In fact, it is very good that I should pause, sit silently, and reflect on the year that will be closing itself tomorrow night. It has been a year of intense emotion; very high and very low.

My son, at the age of 38, married. What a beautiful day for a mother. There was the wedding shower for the bride at Bahama Breeze in Tampa. It was the first time I had met her mother and sister as well as her friends. Then at the beginning of April was the wedding. They planned a very casual, fun event. Groom and groomsmen were all dressed in Tommy Bahama attire. The day was gorgeous as was the bride. Daughter made a beautiful bridesmaid. High emotion for sure.

There were happenings in extended family that brought much sadness to my heart. It is so sad to watch unnecessary pain, suffering, and chaos in the lives of people I love. I am reminded by Al-Anon that I am powerless over other peoples' lives. Low emotion for sure.

This year has also brought profound changes in some of my relationships - changes that have left me bewildered. These changes have, however, served to reinforce for me the belief that God is in charge and if I trust and practice faith, eventually all will be well. Low and high emotion.

2009 has brought me many opportunities to practice what I learned from my parish priest a few years ago, 1. God has His purposes (and they are usually none of my business), 2. It is not about me, and 3. Don't limit God.
My pastoral care visits have been a blessing to me. These 3 guidelines also serve me well in all my relationships, in all my affairs. High emotion.

The year 2009 brought the fear and agony of watching a loved one struggle with addiction. It has reminded me again of the power of alcohol and the powerlessness of an alcoholic where alcohol is concerned. Low emotion.
It also brought the joy and wonder of watching the action of God at work producing the miracle of sobriety. Very high emotion.

I long for peace, serenity, silence in my heart, the rush of angels wings in the breezes that blow through my life.

I find myself looking forward to 2010 and wondering what surprises God has in store. I pray that God will give me the power to help others and care for myself.

Wishing you a safe transition from 2009 into the anticipation of blessings in 2010.

Prayer Girl

Wednesday 12/30/09 - "CHRISTMAS 2009 - THE END"

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY


"CHRISTMAS 2009 - THE END"

Prayer Girl

(Photo credit: picture #1, Xmas Time in the City by Geri S. picture #2, Welcome Home by Evy Johansen)

Tuesday 12/29/09 - "ONE MORE CHRISTMAS"

"ONE MORE CHRISTMAS"

There will be one more Christmas celebration in this household. Tomorrow son and his wife will be coming and there will be holidaying again. There will be baked brie and other snacks to eat, packages to be opened, and a ham dinner to be enjoyed.

When I got home from the hospital, I started in on the cleaning. I worked hard, my back was hurting, but it's night now and the back is fine. I've done most of what I wanted to accomplish. I do still have time to get a few things done tomorrow.

I still have the pastry to roll out to cover the brie that has already been stuffed with cherries and almonds. I also need to prepare the ham for the oven, but that shouldn't take too long. I have my menu written out and a timetable for the oven so I don't forget something.

I had planned to skip my Tuesday morning Al-Anon meeting tomorrow, but I think I may be able to make it. My guests probably won't get here till later in the afternoon. That would make me so happy. I need some spiritual and emotional balancing-out.

I had one of those really extraordinary days in the hospital this morning. It began with one of my first visits and almost immediately the woman in front of me told me she was in the hospital because of her alcoholism. She was weak and looked beaten and frightened. She seemed to be in that state of demoralization we know so well. I told her I was sober 24 years and that I would share with her what had worked for me. While I was there, they came to take her for an ultrasound so I went back to see her again just before I left at the end of my shift. She described some of her drinking history. The longest she had been sober was almost three months when she drank again. Her doctor told her, one more drink and she would die. She said she didn't want to die. I asked if she had a sponsor and worked the steps in Alcoholics Anonymous when she attended meetings and she said, "no". I told her she needed a higher power with the strength she lacks that could keep her sober. I explained how to go about making that connection with God - get a sponsor and work the twelve steps. We prayed. God was present. I gave her my personal numbers. Pray for her, please.

Love to you all,
Prayer Girl

(Photo credit: Santa Baby by Traci Bender)

Monday 12/28/09 - "CLEANING DAY"

"CLEANING DAY"

I have been having so much fun this past week. I've given myself permission to go out for lunch after meetings with other Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon members several times. Last Wednesday we went to a little cafe for lunch where I had a delicious curry chicken salad. It was out of this world good as was the conversation at the table. Saturday I had made plans with myself to get to the gym after a noon women's meeting, but scrapped those plans when invited to join three other women for pizza. My daughter and I both went. Yesterday a sponsee took me to a little restaurant, Jane's, in the heart of old Naples. A very quaint spot where I dined on a French omelet with brie and bacon. Yum.

Tomorrow my son and his wife come for Christmas so today is "Cleaning Day". I will be vacuuming, dusting, sweeping, straightening, and also using my new steam floor cleaner requested and received for Christmas. It is time to really get my kitchen floor clean. I haven't tried the steamer yet, but it seems very straightforward and should be easy. Cross your fingers, please. :)

As for now, I'm off to the hospital where I will probably put in a shortened time. Instead of 4 hours, I'll stay about 2. I'm giving this time over to God to direct the time I spend there.

I wish all of you a wonderful Monday between Christmas and New Year's.

Prayer Girl

Sunday 12/27/09 - "SERENITY IS..."

"SERENITY IS..."

"Serenity is...
... a way of life absorbed slowly and practiced one day at a time...perspective...becoming aware of and accepting my many characteristics and not judging what's "bad" or "good" but what's useful to keep and what to release...a spiritual journey without a destination...the space between the impulse and the action...accepting what is...honoring my feelings without aiming them at someone else or letting them run my life..a gift I choose to give myself..."
(From "Hope for Today" December 25, p. 360, Al-Anon Family Groups)

What a perfect reflection for December 25th and for every other day.

What about the space between my impulse and action? Over the years that space has changed. I used to have emotions that erupted with such force and my impulse to action was so strong that I would find myself acting in ways that I would later regret.

My most intense emotions were feelings of being unloved, unlovable, rejected, abandoned, despair, and sadness. In response I would either feel burning hate or more often I turned that anger inward and experienced self-hatred, and suicidal thoughts. The space between the impulse to run from these feelings was almost instantaneous and I sought immediate relief. The quicker I could escape the better.

When I first found alcohol as my solution, I thought I was in heaven. I had been searching for 35 years for something that would work. Nothing did. Alcohol did. The space between my impulse and taking a drink was so short it could not be measured. This was good. It brought that instant relief I had been looking for. However, this solution failed me quickly and within a few years did not work at all and caused even more devastating feelings.

Then I found Alcoholics Anonymous and later Al-Anon. I worked the twelve steps in each program. In AA I found a power greater than myself that served not only to fill the space between that impulse and the action of drinking alcohol, but allowed me to not take that first drink and gave me the power to live life on life terms and find happiness.

Al-Anon gave me additional tools like the three As: awareness, acceptance, and action. They allow me to be aware that a negative impulse is trying to take hold of me, gives me the willingness to accept that impulse so I can look at it, and allows me the grace to reflect on what action I wish to take. I can think long enough to choose an appropriate, healthy, and loving response that does not hurt me or others.

This widening of the space between impulse and action allows me to experience serenity. Serenity and peace of mind are gifts of the program from my Higher Power that I value above most things. I thank God for them.

Prayer Girl

SATURDAY 12/26/09 - "ALL GOD'S CREATURES"

SIX WORD SATURDAY

"ALL GOD'S CREATURES"

A CHRISTMAS CAT AND DOG STORY!!

Prayer Girl

Friday 12/25/09 - "THE REASON FOR THE SEASON"

FLASH NON-FICTION FRIDAY 55

"THE REASON FOR THE SEASON"

Friday December 25th and I am rejoicing over the reason for the season.
It's Christmas day and I celebrate the birth of my savior.
God sent His son to save me for eternity.
But He has also saved me in this life from a certain alcoholic death.
Joy, gratitude and love reign in my heart.

Prayer Girl

Flash Fiction Friday 55
is a story written in exactly 55 words.
Let the G-Man know if you write one
and read the ones of your fellow writers.

Thursday 12/24/09 - "TWAS THE DAY & NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS"

"TWAS THE DAY & NIGHT
BEFORE CHRISTMAS"

"TWAS THE DAY & NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS" and .........................

The day before the night before Christmas I had the blessing to meet a sponsee who hasn't called me in close to a year. She had called me a few days ago - out of the blue - and we set a date to do her 5th step. Then - there she was in a meeting and we went out to lunch together with two other women. What a wonderful Christmas gift.

I have completed 'most' of my Christmas shopping. I have this last day to pick up a few last minute items.

I will purchase food for a Christmas meal.

Daughter and I are having a family Christmas at home. We're planning crab legs and shrimp for our special day luncheon. Can't wait! :)

The tree, the presents, the sweet smell of our bayberry candle, and a poinsettia I treated myself to - all fill the house with a festive glow.

Son and his wife will be arriving the Tuesday after Christmas and we'll get to celebrate again.

Doggie and kitty (Lucky and Bert) are getting along at least a little bit better today than when they first met several months ago.

I am choosing to focus on the beautiful memories of Christmases past and planning/choosing to have a blessed Christmas this year.

I am sitting here at the computer looking into our family room that was reorganized, rearranged, and redecorated by daughter. She is very artistic. She has done with this junk of a room what I could never have done myself. True, a lot of things are stored away or heading for Goodwill, but that's fine with me. I love the orderliness she has brought to the room. It is warm and inviting.

Prayer Girl is wishing you and yours a Christmas that will warm your heart, soul, and mind.

Love and peace,
Prayer Girl

Wednesday 12/23/09 - "OLD CHRISTMAS MEMORIES"

First, I want to thank Wanda's Wings for this Angel award. What a nice gift to receive at Christmas time.

Second, I want to thank Mike Golch for also giving me the Angel award.
Two blessings in one award.
I'm a lucky girl!

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

"OLD CHRISTMAS MEMORIES"

Prayer Girl

(Photo credit: Old Christmas Memories by Ruskatukka at deviant art.com)

Tuesday 12/22/09 - "ALL IS WELL"

"ALL IS WELL"

"...the more we get outside of ourselves, the more aware we become that "all is well."
(From "Each Day a New Beginning", December 19)

This is completely the truth for me. When I stop worrying about my own problems, petty or otherwise, my attitude becomes more positive. When I am tired, not feeling well, stressed, or playing 'superwoman', it is easy to become negative and to think the world and my life are "going to hell in a hand basket".

Even after 24 years in recovery this can happen. But I know today that this misery resides between my ears and if I can move away from my 'thinking', then my spirits will improve. The good news is that this happens less frequently, lasts a shorter period of time, and is not as intense as it used to be.

I tend to obsessive thinking and when it is directed negatively inward, I can find myself in a dangerous place. How do I get out of there? Artistic expression can do the trick - writing a poem, drawing, painting, sewing, knitting, writing a blog, these kinds of activities can get me out of my own self. Nature can take me 'outside' myself by literally focusing me outward. Watching the beauty of nature in the trees, flowers, birds, animals, ocean - all of these have the power to transport me elsewhere. Listening to music or appreciating others' artwork does the same.

I am always in a better space when I am working with other alcoholics or members of Al-Anon. When I am sharing my experience, strength, and hope I am grateful. I can focus on someone else and passing on what I have been given rather than sitting alone in my own mind.

As much as possible, I try to live one-day-at-time and in the moment. When I am in that place, I know that "ALL IS WELL".

Hoping "all is well" with all of you,
Prayer Girl

(Photo credit: Snow on Bare Branches by Patrice Grossi)

Monday 12/21/09 - "OVERFLOWING"

"OVERFLOWING"

My cup, my plate, and my schedule are all overflowing today.

Too many things to do and not enough time to do them all in. What have I learned in Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon? I know today that I am not and don't need to be "Superwoman". I don't have to please everyone or be perfect.

I'm jotting out this short blog quickly as to not be too late to the hospital for my volunteering. The patients will be there just the same if I am half an hour late.

I haven't been to the gym in almost a week so that's on the schedule somewhere. I'm meeting a sponsee downtown near the hospital and gym and plan to meet her before I head home.

I am happy today. Why? I'm not always sure. I think today it is because I am not fighting anyone or anything. I am succeeding at going with the flow a little better right now.

I am determined to not let my mind stand in the way of enjoying this beautiful season.

Peace and love to you all,
Prayer Girl

(Photo credit: Toy Soldier by Jeffry Zelt)

Sunday 12/20/09 - "GOOD MORNING SUNDAY"

"GOOD MORNING SUNDAY"

I've been battling a cold since last Wednesday night. Christmas is not a good time to be sick, but then when is? I've been taking Zicam regularly and I think the symptoms will stay mild.

Friday night was not a good sleeping night. I probably had 3 hours of sleep which for me just doesn't cut it. I was asked to speak at a 9:30 Saturday morning women's meeting. I dragged myself there and God was with me. My talk went well. I felt good about speaking and by the time I was finished I felt so much better. God is good.

Last night my three best, longtime friends and I went out to dinner and had a little gift exchange for Christmas. We ate at PeiWei that has wonderful Asian food (I had sweet and sour shrimp with extra vegetables and added sweet chile sauce) and topped the evening off with ice cream from a little shop next door.

Daughter was out with friends to the movies when I returned so I had the opportunity to wrap her presents and get them under the tree. I wrapped while watching a Disney movie, Enchanted. Even at my age, I loved it.

This morning I'm off to my Al-Anon meeting, will meet with a sponsee, and tonight there will be a small Christmas get-together with with a few Alcoholics Anonymous friends. Life doesn't get much better than this.

Love to all,
Prayer Girl

(Photo credit: Pepperming Christmas by Steve Webb)

Saturday 12/19/09 - "CHRISTMAS IS NEAR"

SIX WORD SATURDAY

"CHRISTMAS IS NEAR"

CHRISTMAS IS NEAR!

HOPE AWAITS!

JOY!!!

Prayer Girl

Friday 12/18/09 - "SPINNING LIKE A TOP"

FLASH FICTION FRIDAY 55

"SPINNING LIKE A TOP"

I've too many coupons for too many stores.
I've people to please with just the right gift.
What am I looking for? Am I in the right spot?
My purse is too small with papers galore.
And here I stand with purchases in hand.
Where is that crazy coupon?
Help, I'm spinning like a top!

Prayer Girl


Flash Fiction Friday 55
is a story written in exactly 55 words.
Let the G-Man know if you write one
and read the ones of your fellow writers.

Thursday 12/17/09 - "I AM RESPONSIBLE"

"I AM RESPONSIBLE"

Having found Alcoholics Anonymous and then Al-Anon and having worked the 12 steps, I found myself on the road of sobriety health, and a deepening relationship with God. I am responsible for remaining on this road.

There are times when I grow weary of always working on myself, but I must remain diligent in working my programs. I continue to take personal inventory. I go to meetings regularly. I work with others.

I can see clearly the defects of others, but I know today that I cannot change them. I have learned that the only person I can change is me. I have to keep the focus on myself. This is not always easy.

When I come to these places of weariness, I need to remember that I am who I am. I used to want to be anyone other than me, but this is magical thinking. I can only be me. I am an alcoholic and I am a person who has been affected by the alcoholism of others. I have always had a 'magic, magnifying mind' and my mind sometimes races around in circles at high speeds. Why? Just because it is the mind I have. I accept it.

I am grateful today that I found AA and Al-Anon and a comfortable way to live with myself as I am. I have tools and principles to live by that give me a life that is not only comfortable, but meaningful. I have found happiness.

I used to want someone else to be responsible for my life. I wanted someone to fix me, to make me feel better. This is not possible. Today, I am thankful that I am willing to be responsible and that hand in hand with God I can change and find peace and serenity.

God bless you bloggers,
Prayer Girl

Wednesday 12/16/09 - "SWINGING INTO FREEDOM"

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

"SWINGING INTO FREEDOM"

Prayer Girl
(Photo credit:Christina golden forest by vazak2)

Tuesday 12/15/09 - "THE FIRST DAY OF XMAS"

"THE FIRST DAY OF XMAS"

ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS,
MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME.....
ONE LG enV Touch Phone

This morning began with four hours at the hospital moving from room to room through the six floors in the south tower. It was a satisfying day and all the patients I spoke with were glad to have a visitor and were pretty easy to talk with. I was on my feet most of the time.

After the hospital, I stood with hubby in the main Verizon store looking at new phones and upgrades to our service for about three hours. We both walked out with our first Christmas presents of the season. Mine is the LG enV Touch Phone and his was the Motorola Droid.

I am now phone, text, camera, and web capable, if not entirely ready and I will probably discover a host of other possibilities. I never spent the time learning my previous cell phone, but I have vowed to myself that I will take the time to study the manual and learn how to use this one.

Upon arriving home it was time to stand some more preparing dinner. I couldn't wait to be done to just lie down and rest my weary legs. However, between a dog who wanted attention and refusing to take "no" for an answer and receiving three calls from sponsees in the next hour and a half, it wasn't till after that I was able to sit down with my legs up. Then I figured out how the heck to charge up my new touch phone. :)

I just know I am going to love my new phone. Merry Christmas to and from Prayer Girl and Mr. Steveroni. Merry Christmas to everyone.

Prayer Girl

Monday 12/14/09 - "GUARD YOUR HEARTS AND MINDS"

"GUARD YOUR HEARTS AND MINDS"

"The Lord is near. Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds..."
(Philippians 4:5-7)

Sometimes I don't do such a great job of guarding my own heart and mind. There are times when my thoughts turn to the negative or anxiety creeps in. There can be anxieties about relationships, health, or perhaps financial concerns. It makes me sick. Anxiety robs me of my peace of mind, serenity, and stands in the way of my usefulness to God.

Having taken all the steps and being at step 12, my purpose is to carry the message of the 12 steps to other alcoholics, to others in general, and to practice what I have learned in Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon. I can't do this effectively when I am in the grips of fear and worry.

God is my answer. I can take my concerns to God in prayer. I can take my gratitude to God in thanksgiving. I can ask God to guard my heart and mind.

I will pray tonight and again tomorrow morning that I may be an instrument of God's peace when I visit patients in the hospital.

Love to all my blogger friends,
Prayer Girl

(Photo credit: By Katiebar15)

Sunday 12/13/09 - "SO GRATEFUL..."

"SO GRATEFUL...."

I am so grateful for many things today.

I am grateful that I believe if something is happening, it IS GOD'S WILL. This is true whether I like or dislike what is happening.

I know that in the fullness of time God's Will - will be done in my life. I made a decision to leave my will and my life in God's hands.

I bought an artificial Christmas tree last year. It is easy to put up and already has lights on it. I put it up in less than an hour this afternoon. Daughter and I decorated it with her decorations and her very artistic direction. It looks quite beautiful. It is very different from the way I have decorated our tree for 40+ years, but I love it.

The three of us - hubby, daughter, and I had dinner at Perkins. I had the chicken pot pie and it was delicious. It was the perfect choice - nice comfort food for a wonderful day.

I got to the gym for a good workout this morning and then went to one of my favorite Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, a women's noon meeting. As always, it delivered a huge dose of spirituality. I sat next to daughter and her sponsor sat at the end of the large table. I know most of the women at this meeting and it feels so like home, comfortable.

I am looking forward to my home group Al-Anon meeting tomorrow morning followed by two separate meetings with two sponsees.

I am "in the moment" today and that makes me very happy. If I just stay in this place, I will remain peaceful in my mind and spirit.

I found today that I had two new followers of my blog. What a joy that is for me. It may seem like a simple thing, but it makes me very happy.

I will be meeting up with a blogger from "over the pond" in February and I am excited today at the prospect of meeting her then.

I slept well last night and had a short nap this afternoon - all of which my body appreciates.

I am grateful for my blogger friends.

Prayer Girl

Saturday 12/12/09 - "TRUST, CLEAN, HELP"

SIX WORD SATURDAY

"TRUST, CLEAN, HELP"

TRUST GOD!

CLEAN HOUSE!

HELP OTHERS!

Prayer Girl

Friday 12/11/09 - "ICICLES"

FLASH FICTION FRIDAY 55

"ICICLES"

Outside the wind howled - twisting through suspended icicles - the silent earth so cold, harsh.

She moved inside where still the frozen air reached out like tentacles wrapping around her body.


Spikes of ice fell with dull thuds into her mind, heart, soul.

She was frozen in time, incredulous, only a miracle could thaw her now.


Prayer Girl


Flash Fiction Friday 55
is a story written in exactly 55 words.
Let the G-Man know if you write one
and read the ones of your fellow writers.

THANK YOU AUDRINNA
FOR GIVING ME THE FRIENDS AWARD!
I APPRECIATE IT AND IT WARMS MY HEART!

Thursday 12/10/09 - "DETACH"

"DETACH"

"...Al-Anon members can be a world-wide inspiration to each other; thoughts and prayers fly across space to sustain and strengthen us all."

"What a relief to be able to detach ourselves from the chain that bound us to the weight of alcoholism - to know we need not be helplessly controlled by it. We are freed by knowing we cannot exert the slightest influence on it. How light and pleasant it is to be a link in that other chain that binds us together in Al-Anon, and to discover how to correct the attitudes that kept us chained to our anxieties."
(From "One Day at a Time", p.344, December 9)

What a relief it is for me to be able to detach from the weight of alcoholism, from alcoholic thinking and behavior. There is freedom when there is willingness to admit total powerlessness over another person's "ism". When I accept this, then I can hand it over to God. God has the power that I lack.

I love the idea that my attitudes determine whether I am chained to my anxieties or freed from them. Anxiety was my lifelong companion. I worried about what I said, did, how I looked, what you thought of me. These anxieties have diminished as I have learned to leave them with God.

Being able to detach and let go is a blessing of the Al-Anon program that has been freely shared with me and I freely share with others. Sometimes we need to detach from things such as certain relationships, a job, or old ideas.

I have learned how to detach using the tools learned in Al-Anon. For example, using the 3 As - becoming aware of things I need to detach from, accepting that this needs to happen, and then taking the action required. These actions include such things as prayer, practicing new behaviors, limiting the amount of time spent with someone, setting boundaries, and improving self-esteem by doing esteemable acts.

The more I detach, the more serenity and peace I experience.

God bless,
Prayer Girl

Wednesday 12/9/09 - "SWIMMING WITH ABANDON IN THE SEA OF LIFE"

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

"SWIMMING WITH ABANDON
IN THE SEA OF LIFE"

*

**

Prayer Girl

(Photo credit: * polar bear swim by Jodi M Walsh, ** Weightless by phatpuppy)

Tuesday 12/8/09 - "ANGELS AROUND ME"

"ANGELS AROUND ME"

Tonight daughter and I went with three of my oldest friends from Naples and the daughter of one of them to a birthday dinner to celebrate the 59th birthday of one of them. Lord, where have the years gone? These friends have been by my side for 25+ years. Our children were babies when we met. Our children grew up together as I and my friends grew older together.

We have celebrated birthdays and holidays year after year. We have celebrated our children's birthdays at places like McDonald's, the roller skating rink, the bowling alley, theme parks, our homes, picnics in the park, in all kinds of places.

We used to meet once a week for dinner at places we could afford such as McDonald's, Burger King, Ponderosa, pizza joints, Chinese restaurants. Our favorites were places that offered playgrounds for our kids to play in while we talked and talked. 25 years later our girls are in their late 20s and we are all eating in a restaurant without a playground. We are all talking "grown up" talk.

I love these women and their adult children. I love the time we spend together. Though we have seen each others character flaws over the years we have mutually agreed (unspoken) that our relationship is worth the effort to cultivate and is cherished.

My friends are like angels to me. God bless them.

Prayer Girl

Monday 12/7/09 - "LIVING CHRISTMAS TREES"

"LIVING CHRISTMAS TREES"

"Just as the wave cannot exist for itself, but is ever a part of the heaving surface of the ocean, so must I never live my life for itself, but always in the experience which is going on around me. It is an uncomfortable doctrine which the true ethics whisper into my ear. You are happy, they say; therefore you are called upon to give much." -Albert Schweitzer


I am happy. This evening I went with a sponsee and a group of other friends to the annual production of the Living Christmas Trees put on by the largest Baptist church around. I used to belong to this church when it was smaller. It is an elaborate, very professional, and primarily all volunteer show. It is produced each year for the express purpose of carrying the good news of Christ and salvation. Every year they seem to outdo themselves with their production and this year was no exception. It usually marks the turning point of my "getting into the Christmas spirit".

A group of us went out to eat at a Jason's Deli after the performance. This was a delightful experience. I knew my sponsee friend who had invited me and had the opportunity to meet others I did not already know. It felt good to be a part of this happening. I enjoyed a Turkey Reuben sandwich and tomato basil soup.

I have had so many other things on my mind that Christmas has been only barely on the radar screen. No tree up yet, no Christmas lists made or shopping yet, no decorating yet - until tonight when I put on my "Christmas top" with black pants and heels and went to the performance.

I will need to begin straightening up before I can even think about putting up the tree. Maybe this week will bring enough motivation to do this.

I know I need to go into the silence and talk to God. I need to put him in the center of this season and the center of each day. This message was also included in the theme of the Living Christmas Trees - that Christmas is all about God's gift to us. If I remember this simple message I am sure this Christmas will be a wonderful one.

God bless all of you bloggers.

Peace, love, and prayers.
Prayer Girl

Sunday 12/6/09 - CHOOSING HAPPY MEMORIES"

"CHOOSING HAPPY MEMORIES"

Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon broke my denial and I faced all the painful truths about myself - my fears, the lies I told myself and others, the flaws in my thinking and behavior. The 1st, 2nd, and 3rd steps prepared me to do this and the 4th and 5th allowed me to become free. The 6th, 7th, 8th, and 9th provided the action needed to clean up the wreckage of my life. Steps 10, 11, and 12 help me stay free.

So - - - today I am not trapped in that negative past and can choose to recall happy memories rather than dwelling in negative ones.

I remember and cherish loving, happy Christmases and beautiful trees of a past time. I don't regret any that may not have been as sweet. This is an example of the promises at work. "We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it." (Promises, Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous)

I can open a door of joyful memory if I choose. I remember my childhood. I have uncovered many hurts of my childhood, but there are many beautiful memories too. I remember my father swimming out into the ocean at Martha's Vineyard to save my whale shaped inflatable floaty. I was so young that in my little baby eyes, he was swimming to China just for me, to save something that was mine. In that moment, he was "my hero". I have never forgotten it.

I remember the first home we bought. My son was a very young. I had a bicycle with a baby seat affixed to the back. We bicycled up and down the hills in our residential neighborhood, son perched safely behind me. For some reason, that is a memory that makes me feel so good.

I remember my daughter maybe 15 years later, age 5, singing into a pole shaped sprinkler in our backyard, putting on a concert for me. She sang her heart out and that sprinkler was the perfect microphone.

I reserve the right to continue this blog at another time to include other happy memories. I am running out of time now.

God bless all my blogger friends.

Prayer Girl

Saturday 12/5/09 - "PRACTICE"

SIX WORD SATURDAY

"PRACTICE"

PRACTICE

PRAYER


PRACTICE

PERSISTENCE


PRACTICE

PATIENCE

Prayer Girl

(Photo credit: Dream Big by Alexis Yobbagy)

Friday 12/4/09 - "THE HAPPIER COUPLE"

FLASH FICTION FRIDAY 55

"THE HAPPIER COUPLE"

The happy couple heard many blessings from members of the wedding party.

Most said, "Be as happy in 50 years as you are today."

The officiant said, "May you be not as happy, but immeasurably happier in 50 years."

Eight (56) years passed.

They laid together beneath a shady willow dreaming of T-bone steak biscuits.


Prayer Girl

(Photo credit: America's Next Top Models by Debbie Del Tejo)

Flash Fiction Friday 55
is a story written in exactly 55 words.
Let the G-Man know if you write one
and read the ones of your fellow writers.

Thursday 12/3/09 - "BEGINNINGS"

"BEGINNINGS"

Beginnings forecast endings. Birth leads inevitably to death. The blooming flower withers and disappears. The leafing tree remains green for a season and then drops its leaves. Someone begins knitting a pair of socks that when finished warm someone's feet. A student begins a freshman term in college and graduates at the end of the senior year. Divorce leads to new possibilities for a healthier relationship.

Just as often endings lead to new beginnings. Fields of crops left fallow for a season renews and enriches the soil for a new beginning. The end of a journey is the beginning of a new one. The end of my alcoholic drinking was the beginning of a new life.

I fought giving up drinking with all my might. Of course, this was a function of my disease. Every time I took a drink, I turned on my allergy to alcohol. Then along came the obsessive thought of the next drink and the next and the next and then the compulsion to take that next drink was too strong to be resisted. The idea of living without drinking seemed like the end of life. I reached that point all alcoholics who have found recovery know, they can't imagine life with alcohol and they can't imagine life without it.

Then came the day that I picked up a drink that marked the beginning of the end of my last drunk and the end of my drinking. When I awoke from that drunk, total clarity despite how sick I was filled me. I knew that I would never have to drink again. I turned my life over to Alcoholics Anonymous. I later understood it was God I turned my life over to at that moment and God spoke to me through the members of AA.

That end that felt like a death turned out to be the beginning of a wonderful new life. I was graced with a new beginning. Over the years I have learned what was deep down inside of me that encouraged escape through alcohol. I have come to understand the flaws in my character that had kept me blocked from the sunlight of the spirit. Through working the twelve steps in order, one through twelve, I have developed a spiritual connection with God that has given me the power I lack. I now have the power I need to stay away from alcohol, to allow God to change me, and to live a wonderful life.

I have watched many others find new beginnings. It is possible. It happens. Miracles happen. People change. They find lives that include happiness. They develop lives with the capacity to deal with bad things that may happen. They are capable of appreciating the joy of living.

For those of us who may be experiencing an end of some kind, remember that there will surely be a new beginning.

Prayer Girl

Wednesday 12/2/09 - "LIGHT AS A BREEZE, A BIRD"

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY
"LIGHT AS A BREEZE, A BIRD"

Prayer Girl

(Photo credit: ELWind by Fantasize Me R93)

Tuesday 12/1/09 - "GETTING BACK TO BASICS"

"GETTING BACK TO BASICS"

I, unfortunately, stray from keeping things simple sometimes and then I must remember to get back to basics. I have always been prone to over-analyzing, compulsive thinking, and to being a person who worried situations like a dog with a bone - all very exhausting and very non-productive activities.

These activities cause mental fatigue, confusion and can lead to feelings of hopelessness (powerlessness). Too many changes or multiple stressful events at the same time can push me into these old patterns of behavior.

So what can I do to move out of this unpleasant place I find myself in at times? Getting back to the basics I have learned in my 12 step Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon programs has always worked.

What are some of these basics?

Spend time each day with God praying and listening.

If there is an amends to be made, DO IT!

Take time each day to review the numerous things I am grateful for. Focus on what I have, not on what I lack. Practice being satisfied.

Take time to remember where I came from compared to the life I live today. This is guaranteed to readjust my perspective if it has gotten out of whack.

Go to meetings regularly and frequently.

Talk to other alcoholics and members of Al-Anon often.

Take a moment each day to smell a rose, watch a bird, listen to it sing, watch a cloud scud along on a breeze, or watch tree limbs bending in the wind. In other words, enjoy the mysteries and beauties of nature God has surrounded us with.

Take a deep breath and think about who is in charge. If it's not God, then readjust my thinking.

Remember to be where my feet are. (Stay in the now.)

Remember always that love is stronger than hate, jealousy, or envy - it can dispel them.

Think about someone other than myself, but at the same time, take care of myself.

Love and prayers to my blogger friends,
Prayer Girl

Monday 11/30/09 - "HOLD ME"

"HOLD ME"

Just as this little bird is being held, I ask God to hold me and those I love in His hands today.

I did not have the energy or thoughts to blog last night. It just wasn't in me.

I am off to the hospital in an hour, need to get ready, so this will be short.

I am asking God to also hold close within His arms those who are in the hospital. I pray that God will guide me to those He wants me to visit today. I leave the results of my visits in God's hands. I say this prayer every Monday.

I pick daughter up Wednesday at noon. My "God Box" is getting full. Daughter is in there along with so many others in and out of recovery. I'm in there too.

I will keep things simple today and pray that in the simplicity of each moment my mind will stay clear and peaceful and productive.

I will do my best to live the Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon programs well. I will try to practice the principles in all my affairs.

My blogger friends are in my mind and heart today. I care about all of you that I have come to know as we read and comment on each others writing.

Simply and lovingly,
Prayer Girl