Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Thursday 12/3/09 - "BEGINNINGS"

"BEGINNINGS"

Beginnings forecast endings. Birth leads inevitably to death. The blooming flower withers and disappears. The leafing tree remains green for a season and then drops its leaves. Someone begins knitting a pair of socks that when finished warm someone's feet. A student begins a freshman term in college and graduates at the end of the senior year. Divorce leads to new possibilities for a healthier relationship.

Just as often endings lead to new beginnings. Fields of crops left fallow for a season renews and enriches the soil for a new beginning. The end of a journey is the beginning of a new one. The end of my alcoholic drinking was the beginning of a new life.

I fought giving up drinking with all my might. Of course, this was a function of my disease. Every time I took a drink, I turned on my allergy to alcohol. Then along came the obsessive thought of the next drink and the next and the next and then the compulsion to take that next drink was too strong to be resisted. The idea of living without drinking seemed like the end of life. I reached that point all alcoholics who have found recovery know, they can't imagine life with alcohol and they can't imagine life without it.

Then came the day that I picked up a drink that marked the beginning of the end of my last drunk and the end of my drinking. When I awoke from that drunk, total clarity despite how sick I was filled me. I knew that I would never have to drink again. I turned my life over to Alcoholics Anonymous. I later understood it was God I turned my life over to at that moment and God spoke to me through the members of AA.

That end that felt like a death turned out to be the beginning of a wonderful new life. I was graced with a new beginning. Over the years I have learned what was deep down inside of me that encouraged escape through alcohol. I have come to understand the flaws in my character that had kept me blocked from the sunlight of the spirit. Through working the twelve steps in order, one through twelve, I have developed a spiritual connection with God that has given me the power I lack. I now have the power I need to stay away from alcohol, to allow God to change me, and to live a wonderful life.

I have watched many others find new beginnings. It is possible. It happens. Miracles happen. People change. They find lives that include happiness. They develop lives with the capacity to deal with bad things that may happen. They are capable of appreciating the joy of living.

For those of us who may be experiencing an end of some kind, remember that there will surely be a new beginning.

Prayer Girl

14 comments:

Andrea said...

AMEN...I am looking forward to that new life, one day!
Blessings, andrea

ChaiLatte said...

Beginnings... I like that. Thank you for a very hopeful post, PG, it helped me change my thought process from very negative today, to feeling more positive tonight- a great way to end my evening.

Roxy said...

You stated it well, PG... to every ending, there is a new beginning. Beautiful post!

Roxy said...

You stated it well, PG... to every ending, there is a new beginning. Beautiful post!

Just Be Real said...

Perfect post Prayer Girl!! I too look forward to the day to a new beginning! Hugs to you dear one.

Shadow said...

when is the end the end? only once in our life...

Kristin H. said...

Miracles DO happen. Recovery is possible. A very inspirational post, PG.

wolfie185 said...

What a wonderful post PG, I was reflecting on A Vision For You even before you mentioned it. You do a great job in transmiting Hope in your writings, hope that even when life is hard something new and wonderful will come from the hard times, which from where I sit is the truth.

Thanks
Scott

Tall Kay said...

What a powerful testimony to God's amazing grace! I am so grateful for women like you in my life, who remind me to never give up hope.

Pete Hoge said...

They sure do.

(miracles happen)

Pete.

Syd said...

Profound stuff Anna. I too think that some endings are a new beginning.

Brian Miller said...

a wonderful thought for today...i thin sometimes we try to end without a new beginning only to find ourselves right back where we started....you have to fill the hole in with something...

sarah said...

your posts are so packed with positive stuff. I am so glad you stopped drinking. I am so glad you worked the 12 steps and found a connection with God and I am so glad I connected with you. Sarah

Paula said...

Dear Anna, so very much glad you found sobriety and serenity. Love this post in particulay as I feel included in your wishes and for your I am in the middle of my beginning. The process has started. Love to you