Sunday, December 6, 2009
Sunday 12/6/09 - CHOOSING HAPPY MEMORIES"
Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon broke my denial and I faced all the painful truths about myself - my fears, the lies I told myself and others, the flaws in my thinking and behavior. The 1st, 2nd, and 3rd steps prepared me to do this and the 4th and 5th allowed me to become free. The 6th, 7th, 8th, and 9th provided the action needed to clean up the wreckage of my life. Steps 10, 11, and 12 help me stay free.
So - - - today I am not trapped in that negative past and can choose to recall happy memories rather than dwelling in negative ones.
I remember and cherish loving, happy Christmases and beautiful trees of a past time. I don't regret any that may not have been as sweet. This is an example of the promises at work. "We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it." (Promises, Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous)
I can open a door of joyful memory if I choose. I remember my childhood. I have uncovered many hurts of my childhood, but there are many beautiful memories too. I remember my father swimming out into the ocean at Martha's Vineyard to save my whale shaped inflatable floaty. I was so young that in my little baby eyes, he was swimming to China just for me, to save something that was mine. In that moment, he was "my hero". I have never forgotten it.
I remember the first home we bought. My son was a very young. I had a bicycle with a baby seat affixed to the back. We bicycled up and down the hills in our residential neighborhood, son perched safely behind me. For some reason, that is a memory that makes me feel so good.
I remember my daughter maybe 15 years later, age 5, singing into a pole shaped sprinkler in our backyard, putting on a concert for me. She sang her heart out and that sprinkler was the perfect microphone.
I reserve the right to continue this blog at another time to include other happy memories. I am running out of time now.
God bless all my blogger friends.