Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Thursday 12/17/09 - "I AM RESPONSIBLE"


Having found Alcoholics Anonymous and then Al-Anon and having worked the 12 steps, I found myself on the road of sobriety health, and a deepening relationship with God. I am responsible for remaining on this road.

There are times when I grow weary of always working on myself, but I must remain diligent in working my programs. I continue to take personal inventory. I go to meetings regularly. I work with others.

I can see clearly the defects of others, but I know today that I cannot change them. I have learned that the only person I can change is me. I have to keep the focus on myself. This is not always easy.

When I come to these places of weariness, I need to remember that I am who I am. I used to want to be anyone other than me, but this is magical thinking. I can only be me. I am an alcoholic and I am a person who has been affected by the alcoholism of others. I have always had a 'magic, magnifying mind' and my mind sometimes races around in circles at high speeds. Why? Just because it is the mind I have. I accept it.

I am grateful today that I found AA and Al-Anon and a comfortable way to live with myself as I am. I have tools and principles to live by that give me a life that is not only comfortable, but meaningful. I have found happiness.

I used to want someone else to be responsible for my life. I wanted someone to fix me, to make me feel better. This is not possible. Today, I am thankful that I am willing to be responsible and that hand in hand with God I can change and find peace and serenity.

God bless you bloggers,
Prayer Girl


Shadow said...

its all up to us. and god... wonderful post, pg!

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

Sigh, I feel this one today. :)

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

Love to you!!!!

Tall Kay said...

So much wisdom in your posts PG. I feel weary too, and I love to be reminded of the tools I have been blessed with to change the way I feel. Blessings to you and Steve and Merry Christmas.

enchantedoak said...

I love that you're leaving the "why" of your racing mind alone and concentrating on the "how" of living with it serenely. I can't change who I am, even though sometimes I wish it, but I can change how I feel about me by doing right things. My hubby's mantra is "Trust God, clean house, help others." We need to keep it simple, eh?

wolfie185 said...

Great post PG. Your words hit home and something I have to do on a daily bases.

Thanks dear one

Brian Miller said...

nice...and arm in arm with Him, serenity will find you...

Pete Hoge said...

I discovered that when
one enters the program
there is no turning back.
Spiritual life has no
"quit" button. We are
prodded along to deflate the
Ego and let God in to be
sole ruler of our hearts.

Thanks for your clear
understanding of what the
program is all about.

We hope our blogging is in
harmony withe the 12th step.


Syd said...

I appreciate your willingness to take responsibility. Today after the meeting several of us talked about how frustrating it is to watch an alcoholic dodge responsibility. It is like watching a train wreck IMO.

Just Be Real said...

Wonderfully awesome Stevie's wife! Blessings to you!

Wanda's Wings said...

I like "with God I can change". We are not alone, but we have to do the work.

Cindy said...

Thank you for this post. I am who I am. I used to be not anything else but me BUT who other's wanted me to be.
I'm finding recovery. So much more, I want to take responsibility.