Having found Alcoholics Anonymous and then Al-Anon and having worked the 12 steps, I found myself on the road of sobriety health, and a deepening relationship with God. I am responsible for remaining on this road.
There are times when I grow weary of always working on myself, but I must remain diligent in working my programs. I continue to take personal inventory. I go to meetings regularly. I work with others.
I can see clearly the defects of others, but I know today that I cannot change them. I have learned that the only person I can change is me. I have to keep the focus on myself. This is not always easy.
When I come to these places of weariness, I need to remember that I am who I am. I used to want to be anyone other than me, but this is magical thinking. I can only be me. I am an alcoholic and I am a person who has been affected by the alcoholism of others. I have always had a 'magic, magnifying mind' and my mind sometimes races around in circles at high speeds. Why? Just because it is the mind I have. I accept it.
I am grateful today that I found AA and Al-Anon and a comfortable way to live with myself as I am. I have tools and principles to live by that give me a life that is not only comfortable, but meaningful. I have found happiness.
I used to want someone else to be responsible for my life. I wanted someone to fix me, to make me feel better. This is not possible. Today, I am thankful that I am willing to be responsible and that hand in hand with God I can change and find peace and serenity.
God bless you bloggers,