Monday 11/30/09 - "HOLD ME"

"HOLD ME"

Just as this little bird is being held, I ask God to hold me and those I love in His hands today.

I did not have the energy or thoughts to blog last night. It just wasn't in me.

I am off to the hospital in an hour, need to get ready, so this will be short.

I am asking God to also hold close within His arms those who are in the hospital. I pray that God will guide me to those He wants me to visit today. I leave the results of my visits in God's hands. I say this prayer every Monday.

I pick daughter up Wednesday at noon. My "God Box" is getting full. Daughter is in there along with so many others in and out of recovery. I'm in there too.

I will keep things simple today and pray that in the simplicity of each moment my mind will stay clear and peaceful and productive.

I will do my best to live the Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon programs well. I will try to practice the principles in all my affairs.

My blogger friends are in my mind and heart today. I care about all of you that I have come to know as we read and comment on each others writing.

Simply and lovingly,
Prayer Girl

Thursday, 7/9/09 - "KISS"

"KISS"
"KEEP IT SIMPLE SWEETHEART"

I found myself writing a sentence in an email this morning that I decided would be my blog today. This is what I wrote: "I have found it easier to KISS - keep it simple sweetheart! (I much prefer sweetheart to stupid.)"

Everybody has heard the acronym used frequently in Alcoholics Anonymous, KISS. The newcomer quickly learns this means -
"KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID"!

When I finally arrived in AA, I was one of those who did not need to be told or reminded that I was stupid. I already believed it in the deepest part of me. No intelligence tests or professional pointing out a high IQ could make a dent in how stupid I knew I was. This went right along with a feeling of total worthlessness. At the age of almost 40 I arrived in the rooms of recovery a total failure. I was unable to work, had a failing marriage, could not adequately care for my children or myself, and had finally admitted I was an alcoholic. My self-esteem and self-confidence were in the minus zero range.

As I have moved through the years of recovery, my hatred of myself, my self-critical, judgmental, and censoring nature have all very slowly improved.

Today I believe in doing the best I can to keep it simple. I attempt to refrain from over-analyzing and dissecting everything in front of me. I use my AA and Al-Anon programs to guide my thinking and I find when I place God in charge my thinking is made simpler.

Today I love myself. My self-esteem and self-confidence are good. I honor and respect myself as a beloved child of God. I have a program that allows me to immediately correct any errors.

SO - Today, for me, the slogan is:

KISS -

KEEP IT SIMPLE SWEETHEART!

Let's all be kind and gentle with ourselves today as we continue to trudge our road of happy destiny.

Prayer Girl

Friday, 3/27/09 - "DOES IT WORK?"

"DOES IT WORK?"

"....an utterly simple and universally applicable test for Truth. It is a test that any man or woman of any kind, anywhere, can easily apply for himself. It is as simple and direct as the acid test for gold. It is the simple question - DOES IT WORK? This test is so staggeringly simple that most clever people have passed it over as not worth considering, forgetting that all the great elemental things of life are simple."
(From: "The Sermon on the Mount" by Emmet Fox, p. 132-133)

When I first arrived at the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous, nothing was simple for me. I was in such chaos, confusion, and pain that I was desperate to find a solution. I had tried many other solutions to no avail (churches, ministers, psychiatrists, counselors, doctors, medications, etc.). I simply could not stop drinking. Once I finally did stop drinking (through the help of a sponsor in AA), I discovered I needed a solution to the overwhelming difficulties of "living".

I have had many desperate people beg me for reassurance that there is a way out of the pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization they find themselves in - both in AA and Al-Anon. The only reason I am able to offer any reassurance is because I have asked myself the question - DOES IT WORK? (AA and Al-Anon) - and have been able to answer, YES!

People often then move beyond the simple DOES IT WORK? YES! to complicating it and asking HOW? But luckily, the program has provided answers to this too. The simplest of answers is:

H - Honesty
O - Open-mindedness
W - Willingness

If we have a willingness to be as honest as we can be, follow the program laid out before us, and have even the smallest amount of open-mindedness, then God can enter into the narrowest of places within us, and create the necessary CHANGE.

The change comes about one-day-at-a-time, one step at a time, slowly - with patience, persistence, and hope. At first, I had very little of that, my hope came from other members of AA and Al-Anon who had found the solution before me and had enough hope and faith to share. They supported and guided me till I found my own.

Today, I share this hope, belief, faith, and trust with those who have not yet found their own and with those who, like all of us, have our 'step backward' days.

I have had enough chaos, stress, conflict, desperation, anger, misunderstanding, emotional/mental/physical pain, and confusion for this lifetime. It is easy to be overwhelmed by it all. That is why I choose to share the hope, calm, peace, serenity, emotional sobriety, health, and wholeness I have found in AA and Al-Anon.

Thank God for AA and Al-Anon, for other recovering people I see face to face, and for all you cherished bloggers.

Prayer Girl

(Photo credit: Mother Nature's Valentine by Ranger Mark)