Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Thursday, 3/12/09 - "PROBLEM PEOPLE"

(Another 'problem person'!!!)


This blog is dedicated to all of us who from time to time or perhaps even more often have 'problem people' in our lives. These people may be causing problems of a minor, but irritating variety or they may present problems for us that are deeper, more troubling, and defy resolution. Sometimes they are people we don't like and sometimes ones we love dearly. God bless any of you who have 'never' had this type of situation.
Please let me know on which planet you live. :)

I am so grateful for the wisdom available through the programs of Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon and their literature.

On March 7th and again on March 11th I read the entries in "Daily Reflections". I was impressed by them and they brought this blog topic to mind.

Daily Reflections, March 7, p. 75:

"The willingness to give up my pride and self-will to a Power greater than myself has proved to be the only ingredient absolutely necessary to solve all of my problems today. Even the smallest amount of willingness, if sincere, is sufficient to allow God to enter and take control over any problem, pain, or obsession."


Daily Reflections, March 11, p. 79:

"All I have to do is look back at my past to see where my self-will has led me. I just don't know what's best for me and I believe my Higher Power does. G.O.D., which I define as "Good Orderly Direction," has never let me down, but I have let myself down quite often. Using my self-will in a situation usually has the same result as forcing the wrong piece into a jigsaw puzzle - exhaustion and frustration. "

The last sentence in the above excerpt is one way I can measure whether I am using my self-will to try to fix a problem or I'm relying on God's will. How much exhaustion and frustration am I experiencing? Said another way, the opposite is how much peace and serenity am I experiencing in the midst of whatever problem situation exists?

When I think I have a problem with someone else's behavior, I need to remember that I most certainly have a problem with myself. This is actually good news since the only person I have any hope of changing is me.

Trying to fix, change, control, or coerce the person with a problem to change will surely lead to anxiety and frustration. I need to remember the three Cs I have learned in Al-Anon. I did not cause whatever the problem is, I can't cure it, and I certainly can't control it.

All my efforts to control someone else point out the need I have for God's help. It's so easy to see what is wrong with others, but this is of little use to me. I need to become aware of what is wrong in me, become willing to have God heal me, and then ask Him to do so.

I cannot change or fix anyone else. God is the only power able to do this. He does not need my help, but he can use my cooperation.

I need always remember that my most powerful tool is prayer - prayers for myself and prayers for the person with the problem. After prayer comes faith and trust that the God of my understanding has heard and will work things out in His perfect timing. And - I must do my part.

Thank God for AA and Al-Anon.

Prayer Girl

(Photo credit: By findstuff22)


Cat said...

loved the picture as well as the sentiment. I have to remind myself daily to look in the mirror so I focus on me instead of others.

clean and crazy said...

God Bless problem people, i have them too. mostly they give me gratitude when I am around them in small doses, but when I am around too long I can get sucked in to their chaos. thanks for the great post I needed this today.

Akannie said...

Thanks for the gentle reminders, PG...I love your posts, they speak to me in a manner that I find delightfully reassuring.

Sigh...I have a little reminder posted on my fridge, and I *think* tonight on my blog. (if I ever get there!) lol

Love, Annie

Shadow said...

good advise here, very good advise!

steveroni said...

Dammit, ANNA. I thought we had agreed not to publish photos of each other. Take it down! Right now!

No names either! OK?
Steve E.

Cat said...


Anna - Steve has got to keep you busy!

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

Reminds me of the 1 Corinthians 13:12 quote:

Now we see
through a glass, darkly;
then we will see face to face.
Now I know in part;
then I will know fully,
even as I am fully known.

And realize that it's me I see dimly because I'm looking at the world through my own lenses, not through GOD lenses...I can just de-fog the glass a little bit at a time, as I become more and more aware of just how foggy it is...

Think less, pray more, LOVE more!

Love you!

Syd said...

Thank you PG. You really helped with this message today. I know that there is hope for me and for others. I beat myself up over my defects. I need to be kinder to myself. And to trust God that he has a plan for me. I really appreciated what you wrote here. It felt as if it was what I needed to read.