Last week at the hospital I visited with a 94 year old woman who in the course of our conversation asked me, "Why am I still here?". She said, "I'm outliving my money." Today, another lady of 92 years asked the same question, "Why am I still here?"
Both women asked these questions in a rhetorical fashion, not really expecting an answer, but expressing puzzlement with why their lives kept going on and on. Both women expressed the idea that they had led good and fulfilling lives and though they didn't say it, it was clear to me, they felt "ready to go".
Several days ago, I was directed by Big Jen to a site that provided an informative and very personal video of the life of people with CF - Cystic Fibrosis - an inherited disease of the mucus and sweat glands that affects the lungs, and other internal organs. It shortens and severely restricts the life of innocent young people. Why? Why are some people born with such a crippling disease?
In Alcoholics Anonymous, in Alanon, in life, I have heard questions such as, "Why am I an alcoholic?", "Why was I abused?", "Why did I have to suffer so much?", "Why were my parents taken from me at such a young age?"
I have no answers. However, in considering the questions, I am reminded of "powerlessness". I know that we alcoholics are powerless over alcohol. People are powerless over a lot of things that happen to them in this life.
I also remember the words of my parish priest when I was on a spiritual search for understanding about a year ago. What he told me applies to lots of these situations. He told me the following:
God has His purposes.
God's purposes are none of my business.
I will not understand His purposes.
DON'T LIMIT GOD.
I do not know the mind of God, but I do believe He is loving and cares about us. I became convinced of this when He gave me the gift of sobriety.
(Photo credit: Healing Light by Free Spirit Iris)