REFLECTIONS ON CHANGE, SPIRITUALITY, BELIEF, FAITH, PRAYER, AND MORE
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Thursday, 12/4 - DECEMBER CANDLE
(From "One Day At A Time In Al-Anon", December 1) "Throughout this month, which brings us to the closing of another year, I will review the happenings of my life as though I were standing just a little way off trying to see myself as another person.
Have I made progress in my effort to correct my faulty attitudes? Have I let discouragement plunge me back into my old habit patterns? When something I did had consequences that made life difficult for me, did I try to blame someone else?
How has Al-Anon helped me to realize some of my potential as a person?" _________________________ What a wonderful idea - taking an inventory of the past year. It is hard to see myself - easy to see others. I'll use this suggestion of trying to see myself as if I were someone else.
Looking back, one thing is for sure - nothing remains the same - everything changes. Seeing the past, the greatest challenge I faced in 2008 - a return to earth - affected my mood, my attitudes, and my interactions with others.
At the end of last year (2007) and all the way through Easter, I was on an extreme "spiritual high". I was involved in the RCIA (Rites of Christian Initiation for Adults) and became Catholic in a beautiful ceremony on the night before Easter.
As the months of summer passed one after another, God gradually brought me down from this "high". It was very difficult. I love being "high" without the use of any chemical, food, or action other than just loving and honoring God. I NEVER wanted to come down. But, this super high eventually had to begin it's journey back to earth - despite me.
In the Big Book of "Alcoholics Anonymous", p. 130, it says, "....a growing consciousness of the power of God in our lives. We have come to believe He would like us to keep our heads in the clouds with Him, but that our feet ought to be firmly planted on earth. That is where our fellow travelers are, and that is where our work must be done."
This quote speaks volumes to me and reassures me that I'm O.K. My head was too high in the clouds, my feet were lifting off ground, and I needed to come back down. But, I didn't want to crash and end up depressed.
I have had to rely heavily on God and all that I have learned in Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon. It has been a real lesson in acceptance. I have found peace of mind and serenity in that act of accepting my "coming down".
I made a decision on July 5, 1985 to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understood Him. As best as I'm able, I haven't taken it back. It has been a real lesson in humility to be satisfied with the state of my spiritual height or depth. Peace of mind and serenity are the result of my acceptance. Priceless gifts.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference.
I'm sober in AA since July 5th 1985, and a grateful member of Alanon since November 2004.
I joined the "blogosphere" in September, 2008.
In December 2011 I became a grandmother for the first time and now understand why it's such a big deal. I'm wildly in love again with that little guy.