Sunday, December 14, 2008

Sunday, 12/14 - ACROSS THE FIELDS


"Across the fields I can see the radiance of your
smile and I know in my heart you are there.
But the anguish I am feeling makes the
distance so very far to cross."

- Deidra Sarault

This was the opening quote to the daily reading for December 13 from "Each Day a New Beginning". This was read at our women's noon Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

This quote evokes many different thoughts and feelings in me, but the most persistent is the memory of the distance - the gigantic chasm - that existed between me and God and me and those I loved caused by my alcoholism. This separation was an agony of the soul.

I was unable to love my darling 3 year old or my wonderful 14 year old. I was separated from them by my disease. I was also cut off from the loving, healing power of God. This was truly hell on earth. Then I found Alcoholics Anonymous.

The light of my children's lives and the glow of my God beckoned to me from a far distance at first. Thank God, I was able to cross that distance (slowly, but surely) right into the arms of my Higher Power. The 12 steps and those who continued to carry the message with love, led me to a relationship with God and helped me mend relationships with my children.

Thank God the anguish I felt as a result of alcoholism is now but a memory. Today, life is filled with hope and love. It has taken time and work - patience and persistence, but life has changed and become more than I ever dreamed it could be.

Prayer Girl


Zanejabbers said...

The field of blue flowers reminded me of the Texas Bluebonnets in the Spring of the year. Thanks fro a great post.

Findon said...

That chasm is was very real for me too. I also realised that within that chasm were my shortcomings. The difference between my character defects and Gods ideal for me. It was only when I changed from my will to His, that the chasm started to narrow. Thank you for this thought provoking post.

Shadow said...

aren't dreams wonderful once they're realised. all because you want them to. badly enough.

Lou said...

No matter how wide the abyss, God helps us across. Always lovely to read your words.

big Jenn said...

Not only was the distance between me and God far, so was the distance between me and myself, which I know are really,are one in the same. jeNN

mile191 said...

prayer girl...wanted to say hello, and say that i really appreciate the love and support you are giving to amy right now. she needs you so much. thanks for all the prayers and love, and such peaceful calm advice. thanks for reading and hearing the pain in the words, and having just the right things to say. and for your words here, so calm, and peaceful. love and hugs ♥

Syd said...

I'm glad that you can love your children and others who are important to you today. Mending relationships seems impossible but yet it happens. That's the miracle.