Saturday, December 6, 2008
Sunday 12/7 - CHOOSING WITH FAITH
"To choose what is difficult all one's day, as if it were easy, that is faith." - W.H. Auden
Faith has allowed me the freedom from fear necessary to choose the more difficult path. The day I got sober for good, enough fear was replaced with just enough faith to allow me to begin to make the choices I had been unable and unwilling to make. The consequence of constantly failing to make the hard choices was my getting drunk. Prior to that day, I was seldom able to make the difficult choice, relying instead on the "easier, softer way". That way led to near destruction.
Being able to choose the difficult AS IF IT WERE EASY - that is another story - a goal I aspire to. As the years go by, these difficult decisions and actions become easier as my faith grows.
Chronologically, here are some of the difficult choices I have made as a result of a growing faith:
Admitted my complete powerlessness over alcohol
Admitted I would die if I continued to drink
Went to treatment for my alcoholism
Allowed professionals to treat my chronic depression
Not drinking "no matter what"!
Wrote a Grant for funds and submitted to the State of Florida
Made presentations of grant results to a State committee
Led training sessions for large and small groups of people
Made presentations at professional conferences
Allowed God to use me to help total strangers
Shared my poems
Attended RCIA and became Catholic
Bought a motor scooter when I didn't know how to ride
Learned to ride a motor scooter
Ride a motor scooter all around town
Became a hospital pastoral care assistant
I did all these things despite great fear. I still have fear - fear of failure, fear of what you will think of me, fear of being embarrassed, all kinds of fear, but the fears lessen as time goes by. The fear lessens as my faith in God grows.
What are some of the difficult choices you have been able to make through faith?