Saturday, December 6, 2008


(My scooter)


"To choose what is difficult all one's day, as if it were easy, that is faith." - W.H. Auden

Faith has allowed me the freedom from fear necessary to choose the more difficult path. The day I got sober for good, enough fear was replaced with just enough faith to allow me to begin to make the choices I had been unable and unwilling to make. The consequence of constantly failing to make the hard choices was my getting drunk. Prior to that day, I was seldom able to make the difficult choice, relying instead on the "easier, softer way". That way led to near destruction.

Being able to choose the difficult AS IF IT WERE EASY - that is another story - a goal I aspire to. As the years go by, these difficult decisions and actions become easier as my faith grows.

Chronologically, here are some of the difficult choices I have made as a result of a growing faith:

Admitted my complete powerlessness over alcohol

Admitted I would die if I continued to drink
Went to treatment for my alcoholism

Allowed professionals to treat my chronic depression

Not drinking "no matter what"!
Wrote a Grant for funds and submitted to the State of Florida

Made presentations of grant results to a State committee
Led training sessions for large and small groups of people
Made presentations at professional conferences
Allowed God to use me to help total strangers

Shared my poems

Attended RCIA and became Catholic

Bought a motor scooter when I didn't know how to ride

Learned to ride a motor scooter
Ride a motor scooter all around town
Became a hospital pastoral care assistant

Began blogging

I did all these things despite great fear. I still have fear - fear of failure, fear of what you will think of me, fear of being embarrassed, all kinds of fear, but the fears lessen as time goes by. The fear lessens as my faith in God grows.

What are some of the difficult choices you have been able to make through faith?

Prayer Girl


Findon said...

Faith. Thanks PG. My wife has always said she has never read my blog. So last night i removed point 3 from my honesty list to see if her curiosity, which always gets the better of her , would mean she had to ask me what it was. Then I'd know if she read it. She never did ask, and I realised that I needed to have faith in what my wife said. So I just put it back. Then I read your blog. God really does bang my head sometimes.

big Jenn said...

Learning to ride my Harley was a HUGE deal. It was the first motorcycle I had ever ridden in my life! It weighs 554lbs. I was petrified and did it anyway. That was one of my biggest accomplishments.Doing group therapy alone for the first time was huge too. I can think of quite a few things actually. Great post. Thank you! jeNN

Shadow said...

jumping out of a plane (with a parashoot)... and it was great!

Shadow said...

hiya! he's a pekingese...

Gabriella Moonlight said...

For me moving 2600 miles to meet my future husband. Admitting I was powerless over alcohol and not drinking for a few 24 hours at this point. For listenig to near total strangers and following their advice. Thank you for this most faithful post.


Laura said...

One time in my life, I found myself in an unplanned pregnancy, single and in terrible financial distress. My two other sons were going to live with their dad for a while so I could get on my feet financially when I became aware of my new "situation". Going against everything I ever believed in, I began to consider abortion because I couldn't see any other way to handle this without pain to myself and others. God, though, stepped in because He knew that I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I compromised the one thing I so totally believed in. Life.

Through the faith process, he directed me to the agency that let me handle my decision to place this baby into an adoptive home. I chose the parents, have met with all of them periodically over the years and of all the choices and decisions I've made as an adult, this was by far the best and I think it was because of the faith God gave me to trust Him with this situation, He blessed me and DJ (my birth son) immensely. Of all my natural born children, DJ has had the most stable, loving home environment and is a productive, loving achiever today.

Heb 10:22 : Let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water.

Thank you.

Progress, Not Perfection said...

What an awesome post. Thanks so much for this message today. It is all about Trust... trust in HP. I am getting a little better at that lately. Who'da thunk?

Ending certain relationships in my life has been the hardest, yet after the fact most rewarding things I have ever done. F.E.A.R. False Emotions Appearing Real.

Peace and Serenity,

A. Miles said...

Is THAT the scooter you ride?

A Bergman?

I cruise on a 125cc and it took courage, faith and stupidity for me to ride it cross country. I couldn't even hold up 650cc's