Thursday, February 19, 2009

Friday, 2/20/09 - EUPHORIC OBSESSION


I have a very dear friend I would characterize as being in a near constant state of 'euphoric obsession'. This person feels good, great, super, on a 'high' almost all of the time.

This seemingly 'picture perfect' existence is interrupted by periodic crashes with reality. These clashes are typically of the relationship variety when euphoria comes in conflict with the cold, hard reality of others trying to live in a more balanced way.

This person so reminds me of how I was when I first started drinking alcoholically and was in a state of bliss to have finally discovered a solution to my life and especially relationship problems. However, soon enough, my escape into this transcendent state ended in discord with husband, children, co-workers - all of whom weren't as happy about my ever joyful demeanor as I was.

Fast forward in time and I am reminded of my first year in Alcoholics Anonymous. I was never on a pink cloud, but I certainly was out of the alcohol obsession and immersed in a life-saving obsession with recovery through AA and God's new found presence in my life.

This new fixation sometimes brought me in conflict again with others. I was constantly at meetings, packing up and taking my very young daughter with me to meetings or cajoling my son to watch her. My emotions were skyrocketing all over the place - up, down, all around. Thank God I was able to allow this positive obsession to play out its course until I found balance in my life.

This whole discussion brings a paragraph from "Alcoholics Anonymous" (the Big Book) to mind. It is found in the chapter, "The Family Afterward", page 125-126.

"Many alcoholics are enthusiasts. They run to extremes. At the beginning of recovery a man will take as a rule, one of two directions. He may either plunge into a frantic attempt to get on his feet in business, or he may be so enthralled by his new life that he talks or thinks of little else. In either case certain family problems will arise. With these we have had experience galore."


Euphoric obsession

Most precious possession
Interrupted, corrupted, waking me

By sudden crashes with reality

Wake up, wake up

Ahead waits a crash-up
No, no, I'm totally fine

Leave me alone this time
Prayer Girl

(Photo credit: Amazing glass circle by Angela7dreams)


Zanejabbers said...

Thanks for being here. Loved the post and the poem.

Hope said...

I can relate to your poem, that's for sure.

Findon said...

In a meeting yesterday I heard this frantic obsession. I hope the guy make it. Thanks for the post. It gave me a sad reminder which I will write about one day.

Shadow said...

you could have written this for me. i'm that euphoric obsessive person too. damn, i don't like it...

mile191 said...

this is nice. a lot for me to ponder. on your note i think i will get some sleep. sleep on it, as my grandma would have suggested. sometimes i hear her saying it to me. thanks prayer girl. i still need you and appreciate all your support. hugs ♥

Syd said...

I've heard that it's wise not to make any decisions in the first year of recovery. Probably because of what you wrote here. My brain was scrambled and so was my wife's. It was a time of confusion and discontent. I'm glad that we are beyond that now.

I left an award for you on my site. Hope that you enjoy it.

Lou said...

I relate. Sometimes I wonder if I need drama to feel alive. Doing "daily meditation & prayer" has helped me to slow down a bit.