"FLOWING ONTO PAPER"
I had one of those brief lapses when I felt myself slipping into that 'victim' mentality, the 'oh poor me' place. What was amazing is that instead of allowing myself to continue down that path into feeling really miserable, I suddenly thought, "Write a gratitude list". I grabbed a scrap of paper and began writing. The following flowed onto the paper.
grateful for the positive changes I have experienced through working the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon.
grateful for friendships formed in and out of the AA and Al-Anon rooms.
grateful that it was warm and dry enough to ride my scooter to the Al-Anon meeting this morning - the first time I have ridden in many weeks.
grateful for the time of meditation and feeling the presence of God in the wind that my bike ride allowed me.
grateful that I can continue to have sparks of hope in many areas of my life including my creative aspirations and hopes for those I love.
grateful that I can "let go" of hurt feelings if I choose. I can Q-TIP (quit taking it personally). I can stop playing the victim and martyr.
grateful for the gift of a healing touch that came after 21 years in recovery.
grateful that I can be aware of myself, the healthy and the unhealthy aspects of my personality, can accept myself as I am and ask to be shown what actions to take to change.
grateful I have learned how to take care of myself.
grateful that I have other members in recovery and my sponsor to remind me to take care of myself and to model for me how to do that.
grateful that God is in charge of my life and thankful that God is in charge of the lives of those I love.
grateful for the cool breezes, not too hot and not too cold, wafting through the open windows and doors of my home, filling the rooms here with God's presence.
grateful for the Book Club meeting I will be attending this afternoon and grateful that even though my isolating self is trying to get my attention and wants me to skip going, I am choosing to go and be blessed by the camaraderie.
grateful that even though my 4th peanut butter pie came out less perfect than the others, I am still taking it to the Book Club meeting. I'm sure it will taste fine. I'm happy my perfectionism is "in check" today.
(Photo credit: Snail by Moshe Geizler, PPSA)