Monday, April 13, 2009

Tuesday, 4/14/09 - PICTURES OF POWERLESSNESS"

"PICTURES OF POWERLESSNESS"

When I visit or volunteer at the hospital I am always struck by the stark "powerlessness" the patients there are experiencing. It reminds me of my "powerlessness" - of our "powerlessness".

I knocked on a patient's door and was invited into the room. As I entered, the lady in the room jumped up from a chair . She was quite agitated and said she was very disturbed. When she heard the knock at the door, she hoped it was someone arriving to transport her to surgery. She said that because it was a Holiday weekend, she had to wait over the entire weekend for her surgery, it was scheduled for 7:30 a.m. in the morning and I entered the room about 10:30 and she was still waiting. POWERLESS!


When I crossed over that line into alcoholism, it was subtle and I was totally unaware of the fact it happened till much later. From the moment I crossed it, I was powerless over alcohol. My drinking escalated without any ability to prevent it. When I drank, I was powerless over the outcome - how much I would drink or how it might affect me or others. It was not a pretty scene. POWERLESS!


Other people often do not behave the way I would like them to. They make choices and decisions that I may not think are wise. I have no control over them. I am POWERLESS!


I think of Hurricane Wilma as the winds began to howl in the deepest part of a night in October of 2006. The winds were so strong that all the exterior and interior doors shook and rattled as the force of the wind found its way through the slightest cracks of all the doors and windows of the house. I had prepared a space in our walk-in closet 'just in case' and spent several terrifying hours through those long dark hours debating whether to lie still or go to the closet. POWERLESS!

I learned about powerlessness when I took step one in the Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon programs. I can only say, "Thank God there is a step two and three". Without step three I would have been unable to admit my total lack of power. I needed a power greater than myself. Once I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God, then I was able to admit being POWERLESS!

Prayer Girl


(Photo credit: Storm by sjculley)

5 comments:

Steve E. said...

...But there is One Who has all power. May you find Him now. We stood at the turning point. Yeah!!!

Love,
Me

Alive And Smiling (Jim) said...

Nice post Prayer Girl. I'm trying to find my way from powerless to the powerlessness you speak of. With God's help, I'll find my way! Thank you for a beautiful message.

Just Be Rea; said...

Not only a powerful pictuer(I think that is sooo neat), but as Stevie said, there is One who does have all power! Thank you for sharing!

Syd said...

Great reminders to me. It's funny how the ego continues to want to say, well, I can take care of this or that, or I'm in a stew because of what so and so is doing. I'm just powerless over them and what they are doing. I simply need to turn them over to their HP. Thanks!

Lou said...

Your post is so true..but I want to add..people in the hospital often misunderstand or simply are not told what is going on. I find patients often are upset about something they think they heard. Or staff thinks someone else told them. Almost always the staff knows what is going on (really), we just don't like to let the patient in on it;)