REFLECTIONS ON CHANGE, SPIRITUALITY, BELIEF, FAITH, PRAYER, AND MORE
Monday, October 26, 2009
Tuesday 10/27/09 - "THE PAIN OF THAT MAGIC MOMENT"
"THE PAIN OF THAT MAGIC MOMENT"
I look back on the moment I awoke from my last drunk after trying for some time to get sober and stay sober. I remember when I finally found total surrender. There was magic, mystery, and miracle in that moment, but it came wrapped in an incredible amount of spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical pain. It was only after the passage of time that I was able to identify the magic.
I never would have guessed that it would turn out to be the best moment of my life, but that is exactly what happened. From that point of personal destruction came the willingness necessary to admit the emptiness of my life and to ask for help to change. It was so painful, but that pain eventually passed.
I can think now of personal experiences where pain has brought forth blessings. The most vivid, of course, is the birth of my two children. Out of the ordeal of childbirth came the beauty of two wonderful lives.
Nature provides wonderful examples of this same thing. At an Al-Anon meeting Sunday the discussion included how difficult and often hurtful situations can lead to a better life. A lady shared that she lived in Miami when Hurricane Andrew devastated the area. She said that new, lush, and even more beautiful vegetation has grown in that hurricane's wake.
I watch the mental anguish and ego deflation of the newcomer to Alcoholics Anonymous and remember my own. I try to pass on to them that out of this horrible pain grows a new and beautiful life for those who work the AA program. We need always share our experience, strength, and hope to lend hope to those who feel hopeless. It works. One alcoholic talking to another alcoholic can cast light into someone's dark life.
I believe the following: "And we know that all things work together for good, to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)
I'm sober in AA since July 5th 1985, and a grateful member of Alanon since November 2004.
I joined the "blogosphere" in September, 2008.
In December 2011 I became a grandmother for the first time and now understand why it's such a big deal. I'm wildly in love again with that little guy.