Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Thursday 9/24/09 - "FAMILY"

"FAMILY"

When I found Alcoholics Anonymous it was like finding a family I had been looking for a very long time. I loved my family - my mother, father, brother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, but somehow I always felt that things weren't quite right. I always seemed to be looking for something else from them that I could not put in words.

I remember when I was very young and my family would be driving from the Washington, D.C., to the shore (Ocean City, Maryland), I would sit in the back seat of our car as it got dark, looking out the window at all the other cars headed in the same direction. I would fantasize about those unknown and nameless families in those other cars. I would wonder about them, what their lives were like.

I also remember spending more time playing at my friends homes than having them over to my house to play. I could not have explained why this was and I think I felt guilt over preferring to be somewhere else.

Something happened to me when I found AA that helped me understand some of my feelings about family. I heard people say in the meetings that the fellowship was like another family. There were those who had to distance themselves from their own families and claimed AA as their only family. I remained able to love and have relationship with my family for which I am very grateful. But I also found in AA that unknown quality of family that I had been searching for so many years. I found people who spoke my language, who I understood, and who understood me in a way my own family had been unable to do.

I have learned over the years that the AA family is like all families in many respects. There are members of the family that are most wonderful and who I dearly love being around. Then there are the more eccentric, kind of crazy, downright nutty, or just unhealthy members of the family that I may choose to be around less. No family including AA is made up of perfect people. We are all human and like all humans we have our faults and shortcomings.

I love my AA and Al-Anon families. I accept them as they are. I make reasoned choices about which members I will spend more time with. Others I choose to treat with respect and dignity, but do not develop deeper relationships with.

I have also discovered there is a blog family. Those of you who are reading this are in it. I love my blog family too. :)

Prayer Girl

13 comments:

Steve E. said...

Absolutely LOVE that picture PG. And the "family" of Alcoholics Anonymous I know so well.

You sure write a quick blog.
Thanks.
Peace!

Tall Kay said...

I didn't realize what a family I had in AA until my daughter and grandson left. People offered me their kids, their grandkids, their dogs, their love and compassion. I understand now that family is there when you really need them. And the fellowship has always been there...in and out of meetings and right here! Makes me want to sing "We are family...I got all my sisters with me" Great post Anna.

wolfie185 said...

Very nice and I understand this on all levels. It is strange that I have a sister who is in recovery and I am not very close to her, she is one of those members of both families that I prefer not to be close with, her selfishness has gotten worse since she has been sober and not better, she has over 2 years. She is one of the people I have to talk to my sponsor about every once in a while because I feel bad about how I feel about her and about judging her recovery, once again it is all about being powerless over the alcoholic.
You are a very important part of the blogger family. Your post have a very calming effect and keep me grounded, you speak the language I love to hear in recovery.

Shadow said...

i love my blog family too!

Kristin H. said...

I love you, too!

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

"I also remember spending more time playing at my friends homes than having them over to my house to play."

WOW did that hit hard! That is my experience as well. I also still to this day do that...

I want to get to the bottom of why the invitation of people to participate in my life and home is sometimes so difficult still. :)

Gin said...

And we love you DEARLY!

Syd said...

Great post that echoes some sentiments that I had today. I like the friends that I've made here and at my meetings. It's like that saying in Al-Anon, you may not like all of us but you'll come to love us as we already love you.

Cat said...

(hugs)

This was perfect timing for me today - you have no idea...

mile191 said...

Great thoughts...I do love the picture too. Thanks, I need to recognize and be thankful for the family I have now, not the one that I wished I had then...

love, mile 191

Wanda's Wings said...

WOW. I am not close to my family except my children. I do love my blogging family. I don't know what I would do without them. Maybe I need to find a group to fill the hole inside of me. Thank you for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Like the others said- great picture with the elephants, and it's true about families. Sometimes family isn't who you were born with, it's who you find later in life.

Carol said...

One of my favorite books as a teenager was Family of Man which has photos from all over the world of people doing their thing.

What a comfort that I found family in my groups.