REFLECTIONS ON CHANGE, SPIRITUALITY, BELIEF, FAITH, PRAYER, AND MORE
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Sunday 9/27/09 - "TEARS"
So many people have so many reasons for tears these days. I read blogs, listen when sponsees and friends call, watch strangers and those I know well floundering around in life - lost.
It has taken many years for me to allow full reign to my emotions. Particularly difficult are what I label "negative" or "bad" feelings. Turns out there are no such things as negative or bad feelings - they are just feelings - without labels or judgments. I began to learn this fact when I was in a treatment center for my alcoholism when I was 39. I am still working on it.
As a child with a child's perceptions, my sadness and tears seemed to create distress in the adults around me. They had trouble dealing with them. I did not wish to trouble my parents so I learned to hide sadness deep down within where it would not be seen. This made me very sick.
Today, if I am sad, I am more likely to be able to actually feel and accept it. I still have trouble expressing it, letting others see it. I still harbor the idea that I need to be strong, the mender of torn lives, the fix-it lady. I can express it here. I am sad today. So I am in good company with you bloggers who are feeling sad, disappointed, weary.
What will we do about this? Sadness saps energy. It is a vicious little circle - the sadder we are, the more we need to take action. The sadder we are, the more difficult it is to take any action.
I have discovered that just the smallest amount of action will reap some reward:
Any prayer even a short and simple one is heard by God and answered. Always an answer, but always in God's time.
Continued work with others helps keep our minds out of problems and emotional turmoil. Prying the focus off ourselves is so important.
Be kind to ourselves, stop pushing and demanding more than we have to give at this moment. Take a nap, allow a special treat to eat, postpone temporarily some extremely stressful task that may need to be accomplished.
Remember that we are human, not robots or superheroes.
Try to appreciate the small and simple things of life that are right in front of our eyes, ears, and noses - perhaps the sounds of gently falling rain or the smell of freshness after that rain, and the crystal clear greenness of the plants and grass when the rain has passed.
Remember also that all feelings pass. When in sadness it has a habit of feeling like it will never pass. It will. When? Who knows exactly! But move on it will.
From me to you - God bless you if you are in sadness. God bless you if you are on the other side of that sadness.
I'm sober in AA since July 5th 1985, and a grateful member of Alanon since November 2004.
I joined the "blogosphere" in September, 2008.
In December 2011 I became a grandmother for the first time and now understand why it's such a big deal. I'm wildly in love again with that little guy.