Sunday, September 27, 2009

Sunday 9/27/09 - "TEARS"


So many people have so many reasons for tears these days. I read blogs, listen when sponsees and friends call, watch strangers and those I know well floundering around in life - lost.

It has taken many years for me to allow full reign to my emotions. Particularly difficult are what I label "negative" or "bad" feelings. Turns out there are no such things as negative or bad feelings - they are just feelings - without labels or judgments. I began to learn this fact when I was in a treatment center for my alcoholism when I was 39. I am still working on it.

As a child with a child's perceptions, my sadness and tears seemed to create distress in the adults around me. They had trouble dealing with them. I did not wish to trouble my parents so I learned to hide sadness deep down within where it would not be seen. This made me very sick.

Today, if I am sad, I am more likely to be able to actually feel and accept it. I still have trouble expressing it, letting others see it. I still harbor the idea that I need to be strong, the mender of torn lives, the fix-it lady. I can express it here. I am sad today. So I am in good company with you bloggers who are feeling sad, disappointed, weary.

What will we do about this? Sadness saps energy. It is a vicious little circle - the sadder we are, the more we need to take action. The sadder we are, the more difficult it is to take any action.

I have discovered that just the smallest amount of action will reap some reward:

Any prayer even a short and simple one is heard by God and answered. Always an answer, but always in God's time.

Continued work with others helps keep our minds out of problems and emotional turmoil. Prying the focus off ourselves is so important.

Be kind to ourselves, stop pushing and demanding more than we have to give at this moment. Take a nap, allow a special treat to eat, postpone temporarily some extremely stressful task that may need to be accomplished.

Remember that we are human, not robots or superheroes.

Try to appreciate the small and simple things of life that are right in front of our eyes, ears, and noses - perhaps the sounds of gently falling rain or the smell of freshness after that rain, and the crystal clear greenness of the plants and grass when the rain has passed.

Remember also that all feelings pass. When in sadness it has a habit of feeling like it will never pass. It will. When? Who knows exactly! But move on it will.

From me to you - God bless you if you are in sadness. God bless you if you are on the other side of that sadness.

Love and prayers,
Prayer Girl

(Photo credit:


Just Be Real said...

I am always attracted to titles or anything dealing with "tears" these days as they mean so much to me in my journey.

Dear one, I too have difficulty expressing my emotions. Anger and frustration usually then takes over.

I quite agree that sadness does sap energy, and I have been sad most of my life.

Great to have a God who understands and walks with us.

Thanks PG for this post. Blessings to you dear.

Tall Kay said...

Your wisdom is so inspiring. Thank you for a reminder of the solutions. Big hugs and I hope your sadness passes quickly.

Shadow said...

...and don't forget to cry. it helps.

Paula said...

Lurking at your blog for quite some time today. It feels like you have written this post for me ;-)) so I couldnt leave and you nurture myself on your words, thinking about my recent teary days. Thanks for being here, Anna, thank you so much

wolfie185 said...

Seems like most of us have had problems in seeing emotions for what they are and learning how to deal with them. Shame has ruled so much of my life, shame which brought on sadness, it was only by getting sober, having a good sponsor, working the steps and having a spiritual practice that deals with emotions that I am learning to see them for what they are and take care of them. Recovering people have taught me that the best way to deal with sadness is action, I had to drag myself into these actions but you where right. God has made it possible for me to take action when I didn't want to. I have had to do some grieving myself lately over a relationship that wasn't going to be the way I wanted it to be, reality bites, but it is via the process of recovery that I can grieve in a healthy way and move on to the hallway and wait for the next door to open.
Thanks again for a great post and for your words that comfort so many!

Lulda Casadaga said...

I wish you the strength to connect with your feelings, whichever ones pop's not always easy and like you said they sometimes hang around way too long! When I'm sad I try to analyse why...and try to figure out if I can quick fix it or just have to ride it out.

Of course, there is always shopping... that seems to work...then again, when them cc bills come in...:*( fogget about it!!

Madison said...

Good post. God made tears for a reason.

Syd said...

A good reminder. I grew up with a lot of denial. But I think that I learned strength too. Thanks for all that you share here.

Anne said...

I love your honesty. I have found that as I age, the tears come so easily. I cry anywhere about anything. It's a wonderful release. I've heard the expression "the gift of tears", as in tears comes from God and we should be grateful for them. Can you imagine what the world would be like if we held everything inside? We would be robotic and dull! Thanks for this great post!