Sunday 8/9/09 "BACK TO BASICS - A,B,C"

"BACK TO BASICS - A,B,C"

"Remember that we deal with alcohol - cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is one who has all power - that One is God. May you find him now!"
(From "Alcoholics Anonymous" 'Big Book', pp. 58-59.)

Whether we have one day, one year, one decade or more of sobriety, we must never forget the basics. When I was newly sober I had no idea how to stay sober and I had to keep it simple so I followed the basic directions I was given. Even after many years of sobriety, life can throw not just curve balls, but gigantic objects at me. At those times and all the times in between, I must practice the basics. I must remember that the physical distance between me, an alcoholic, and that first drink is about as long as my arm and this distance is not apt to change. All it would take would be an unguarded, nonspiritual moment in my mind when my brain says, "Oh, F--K It!"

The spiritual distance between my mind and spirit and that first drink is the distance I must rely on to prevent taking that first drink. This distance was important then and is now. Just one drink and I'm back into the allergy with its obsession and compulsion that is too powerful to control - that will take me back to Hell.

The greater my connection to my Higher Power, to my God, the greater the distance I am from taking that first drink. Here are the basics that helped me form, strengthen, and maintain this relationship and still work today.

A - Get on my knees and ask God to help me stay away from a drink today. I also ask him to help me with any difficulties I may be having. I need the power He can provide - the power I lack. At night I thank Him for keeping me sober.

B - Reach out for help from the people in Alcoholics Anonymous. I had a sponsor that I called, got together with, and worked the program with. As hard as it was at first, I had to also reach out by phone and in meetings to other alcoholics trying to stay sober. I remember a time early in sobriety when I was a wreck in my mind. I don't remember what the issue was, but I could not deal with it alone in my own head. It was a Saturday morning and no one was at home. (No cell phones back then.) I couldn't reach my sponsor or the few friends I had. Thank God I had a list of women's phone numbers. As hard as it was, I just kept dialing numbers on the list until someone finally answered the phone. I did not know who I was talking to, but I just kept talking to her until I was sane again. It worked. That was a powerful lesson in the healing power of one alcoholic speaking to another alcoholic.

C - Go to meetings, listen, and try to identify with people rather than compare. I had to keep an open mind. This still works.

D - Another basic was the mantra I repeated in my head, "I don't drink 'NMW' - No Matter What!" I also used to hear often, "Even if your a -- is falling off, pick it up and carry it to a meeting." That is what I did.

E - I must always remember that I can not do this alone, can't stay sober alone and can't live life alone. I need other people and I need God.

I thank Alcoholics Anonymous and all the wonderful people in the program who taught me the basics and continue to keep my memory green and keep me repeating the basics.

I am grateful to you bloggers. You motivate me to think about so many aspects of my sobriety. That is such a blessing.

Prayer Girl

Saturday 8/8/09 - "A BLOGGER'S PRAYER"

"A BLOGGER'S PRAYER"

Dear Bloggers,

I read many blogs daily and in them I hear truth and honesty, joy and happiness, and often despair, pain, fear, and anguish.

I am offering this "Blogger's Prayer" for the many needs I see as I read.

DEAR GOD,

I'm praying for those experiencing debilitating pain. Please strengthen them, give them courage, and increase their faith that their pain will be lessened, treated effectively, healed.

I pray for those with challenging health problems. Please guide them to health.

For those living with loved ones who are using and abusing alcohol or drugs and whose homes are in chaos and conflict, I pray for moments of serenity and peace in the midst of turmoil. I pray that the loving arms of their Higher Power will hold them up when they feel they're falling down.

I pray for those who have been victims of childhood abuse and neglect. May God guide their search for wholeness in a personal world that was broken early on through no fault of their own. May God bless those whose innocence was stolen and vulnerability exploited. I pray that love and light may fill their lives as they journey to soundness of mind and spirit.

I pray for those who are victims of adult abuse. May they find the strength and courage to reach out for help and may God provide people and situations to support them. May they open their hearts and minds, and allow those who wish to help, do so.

May those who have been betrayed by people they trusted find the love of God. May that love guide them to experiences and people that will allow them to trust again.

For those who struggle to achieve and maintain sobriety, I pray they find acceptance of their powerlessness, surrender to a Higher Power, and find the willingness to follow God's will.

I pray for those who are alone, lonely, isolated, not understood, feeling alienated from life and from other people that God will lead them to other people they can identify with who will in turn lead them to the love of God.

Amen.

Prayer Girl

Friday 8/7/09 - "THE CALF"

FLASH non-FICTION FRIDAY 55

"THE CALF"

He limped with crippling pain from a badly strained calf muscle.

She placed her hands there and heat like a hot oven poured in.

The pain began to pull back from the outer calf areas, slowly shrinking inward into a tiny ball.

Suddenly he jerked as the knot of pain jumped out of his leg.

Prayer Girl

Flash non-Fiction Friday 55
is a story written in exactly 55 words.
Let the G-Man know if you write one
and read the ones of your fellow writers.

Thursday, 8/6/09 - "THOUGHTS I LIKE"

(Joyfully reaching for the stars!)

"THOUGHTS I LIKE"

"Character - the willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life - is the source from which self-respect springs. - Joan Didion

Today is the tomorrow I worried so much about yesterday and 'all is well'.
(Heard in a meeting today.)

Practice being satisfied.
(Said often by a long time sober woman in Alcoholics Anonymous who passed away years ago.)

May the pain of today be transformed into the joy of tomorrow.
(I wrote this on the flap of a book I gave my daughter recently.)


Things I'm grateful for:

Attending a wonderful Alcoholics Anonymous meeting with sober daughter, her boyfriend, hubby, and me this evening.

That the topic at the AA meeting was powerlessness and to hear person after person share about their powerlessness and the power they found through a spiritual connection with God.

A fantastic dinner after the meeting at Longhorn where all were happy, relaxed, and joyful that the gathering was a time of blessing and sobriety.

I am grateful for the fabulous filet mignon I ordered that was cooked to perfection and tasted heavenly.

The beauty of new life possible through the programs of Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon.

That I can joyfully reach to the stars with my mind and spirit.

An all-loving God who I "know" is guiding me and those I love.

My blogging friends.

The many prayers I know are being said for me and those I love.

A good night's sleep.

Prayer Girl

Wednesday, 8/5/09 - "TIRED, TURNING IT OVER, TRUSTING GOD"

(Me!)

"TIRED, TURNING IT OVER, TRUSTING GOD"

Life is happening too quickly for me. It's throwing more curve balls all at the same time than I can comfortably cope with. When I am out of my 'comfort zone' for too long, it affects me in a less than favorable way.

There have been extremely difficult situations recently that involve more than a few of my loved ones. They have pulled my 'mother' and 'wife' strings taut - almost to the point of breaking. However, no breakage has occurred and I credit my 24 years in Alcoholics Anonymous and 5 years in Al-Anon for that.

My daughter has come face to face with a personal crisis and needed major changes in her life.
My son's wife was hit by a car while on her bicycle.
My husband blogged about his situation in the heat.

Bottom lines:
Daughter has been scooped up into the loving arms of God and I believe He is firmly guiding her.

Daughter-in-law spent hours in the ER, but was not hospitalized, has had surgery for a broken nose, just found out her knee did not sustain a tear or break and will heal without surgery.

Husband 'survived' heat exhaustion.

MY BOTTOM LINE:
I am very tired. My spirits are not tired, but my body is.
I continue to turn everything over -- daughter, son, daughter-in-law, and husband.
I trust God and will never stop - never!

I have been involved with a lot of activities that are not usually on my plate. I have managed to blog at least something most days. I have been unable to do much commenting. I am trying to read as many blogs as possible. I know that you wonderful bloggers will understand.

Loving you all,
Prayer Girl

Tuesday, 8/4/09 - "SWEET MOMENTS"

"SWEET MOMENTS"

I "choose" today to think about some "Sweet Moments" in my life.

I wrote a 55 a few Fridays ago titled "First Kiss" -- what a very sweet moment. I think it is pretty hard to recreate the mystery, surprise, and beauty of a first kiss. The boy on the other end of that moment became my first boyfriend. Being the 'all or none' kind of person I am, I always either had no guy or was madly and wildly love. This fellow was the latter and it lasted at least a year and a half - each day sweeter than the next - first kiss and first love!

I remember my first prom. My mother's parents lived in Illinois. My grandmother had died some years before when she was in her 80s. My grandfather finally agreed to come to Washington, D.C. with two of his unmarried daughters for a visit with our family. By then he was 90. He missed his wife so deeply. He was visiting at the time of my prom. I had a pink satin prom dress, hair all done up, and as I came down the stairs to meet my date, my grandfather began to cry. Later I learned he cried because he said I looked like my grandmother when they were young. As nostalgic and somewhat sad as this was, it was still a sweet, sweet moment in my life.

No list of sweet moments could be complete without the birth of my two beautiful children. They were precious to me from the first moment I held them in my arms, continued through some of those not so cherished times in life, and remain most treasured always.

The day I walked down the aisle to meet my Mr. Steveroni at the altar was one of the sweetest and God-given moments of my life.

That first sweet moment when God used my touch to heal a dear friend will live in my heart always.

Today, every single sober day I live is a sweetest moment of my life day after day after cherished day.

May you have a sweet moment today,
Prayer Girl

(Photo credit: Sweet Moments by Cindy Harter)

Monday 8/3/09 - "COUNTING"

"COUNTING"

"Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts." - Albert Einstein

Not everything that counts can be counted

I cannot count the number of prayers that pass through my mind and heart in so many split seconds of my day as someone appears in my thoughts or I am told about someone's difficulties.

I cannot count the number of prayers that have been and are being said for me and my loved ones.

The capacity for love in the depths of the heart can not be captured in a measurement - cannot be counted.

The ripples in the sea of recovery cannot be counted. When a person finds recovery, that person's recovery affects many people--parents, spouses, children, friends, work associates. Sometimes that recovery attracts others to the same way of life and in turn affects parents, spouses, children, etc.

Not everything that can be counted counts

I have a habit like OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) of counting the number of people in a room. I almost always count the number of people in an AA meeting including large speaker meetings. I know, however, that the number doesn't count. Whether there are 50, 20, or 2 people present, an AA meeting is happening and God is "at work".

I can count the numbers of dollars I have in checking, savings, retirement accounts, wherever, but do all those dollars count if my life is filled with dissatisfaction, remorse, pain, anger, resentment? NO! Those dollars won't count at all in relieving a life lived in negativity.

I "COUNT" MYSELF A VERY LUCKY LADY
TO HAVE FOUND ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
AND AL-ANON AND THE WONDERFUL
WAY OF LIFE THESE PROGRAMS HAVE GIVEN ME

Prayer Girl