Thursday 10/21/10 - "DIRTY LAUNDRY"

"DIRTY LAUNDRY"

From the beginning of my blog my intention was to carry a message of hope. I wanted to share with others what I learned when I thought I was hopeless. When I hit my bottom in alcoholism I felt I was beyond all help and all possibility of saving. I discovered at that time a little seed of hope I didn't know was possible to have, buried within me, and it brought me through that horrific time.

The hope I discovered in me when God intervened and saved me from my alcoholism has remained with me these 25 years since I got sober. I have been through many difficult times in those years and many wonderful, beautiful times as well.

There are times when our "dirty laundry" overflows the basket of our life. I was taught as a child not to "air the family's dirty laundry". I believe it is very important to air our dirty laundry with trusted friends and helpers God puts in our lives. I think that the adage to not air our laundry "in public" is spiritually sound. It is my belief that if we air our troubles publicly it can interfere with whatever God's will for the situation and those involved in it is.

Right now my dirty laundry basket is overflowing and God is telling me to be very cautious about blogging. First of all, I wish for my blog, if it continues, to be that message of hope in a world where so many experience hopelessness. Second, I do not wish my laundry to spill out publicly and spoil God's plan, whatever that may be.

I may stop blogging for a while. I may stop blogging forever. I am turning this decision over to God. In all things, even when I am filled with fear and anxiety, I try to listen for that still small voice that leads and directs me. That voice is why I posted a Theme Thursday blog last night and about an hour later took it down. This was the blog I needed to post instead.

I need your prayers. Those I love need your prayers.

Till whenever......

Prayer Girl

Thursday 10/1/09 - "MY GOD BOX"

"MY GOD BOX"

Last year I received a present from a wonderful blogger, Jen. She is no longer blogging as far as I know, but she will be in my heart and in my home for a long time to come. One of the gifts she sent was a box she made with her own loving hands, decorated by the inspiration of her heart, and it became "MY GOD BOX". (The box pictured is not the one she sent.)

On this 1st day of October I have many items in this GOD BOX.

I received a call from an Alcoholics Anonymous sponsee this morning that she had "gone out" (drinking and drugging) over the weekend and did not call me till today out of shame and disappointment in herself. This girl has been "out" three times in the short few months since I met and began sponsoring her. She wants to try again. She's in my GOD BOX.

Another girl I sponsored in AA for 5 years who moved away has decided that she'll be O.K. drinking as long as she stays away from drugs. It breaks my heart to watch someone I love killing themselves in front of my eyes. She's in my GOD BOX.

Another alcoholic who is close to me has made the same decision that drinking is O.K. as long as she stays away from drugs. This is heartbreaking too. She's in my GOD BOX.

Someone I love, like many others these days, has been unemployed a long time and finally landed a first job interview in a year. A prayer for her employment is in the GOD BOX.

Prayers for health for myself, my husband, my children, their loved ones, the patients I visit in the hospital, and my many friends are all in my GOD BOX.

I have a lot of new friends, most of whom I have never met face-to-face, here in the blogosphere. I have come to know you through your writings. Many suffer the heartache of betrayal by friends, family, or other loved ones. Others are on journeys of healing from childhood abuse. And some are facing difficult mental or physical illnesses. All these bloggers are in my GOD BOX.

I just realized I need to put myself in my GOD BOX - so I'm in there now!

What's in your GOD BOX?

Prayer Girl

Monday 9/28/09 - "A PEEK"

"A PEEK INTO PRAYER GIRL'S LIFE TODAY"

Saturday night my mind was too mixed up to produce a Sunday blog so the first thing I did this morning was pump one out. It felt good to write.

I whipped up a fruit smoothie with milk, orange juice, banana, peach, apple, and strawberry. I took it with me to my home group Al-Anon meeting at 11 am. The smoothie was perfect as was the meeting.

The meeting was a discussion on a reading from "Hope For Today", September 21, p. 265. A few excerpts from that reading:

"I forget that there are ups and downs to any journey, and I feel overcome with disappointment with my seemingly slow progress. ......how valuable it is to persistently move forward in the program. When the road ahead looks threatening and I want to turn back to my old attitudes and behaviors, I remember that I'm not alone on my path. I have the wisdom of a Power greater than myself, the tools of the program, and the experience, strength, and hope of my fellow travelers in Al-Anon to support me. ...During bleak periods of my recovery, my Higher Power reminds me that the best way out is through."

As is so often the case, this meeting seemed designed especially for my ears and my waiting heart.

I had planned to go to the gym after the meeting, but decided at the last minute to join three other women for a bite to eat instead. What a lovely way to spend a piece of a Sunday afternoon, listening and speaking with other recovering women.

I had a Reuben melt that was delicious and took half the sandwich home for tomorrow. When I got home, hubby was there so I gave him the half sandwich, and skipped the gym.

So - - - instead of using an elliptical machine, I napped. :)

Next, it was hubby and I off on our scooters to get a coffee and catch an Alcoholics Anonymous step meeting at 5:30. After the meeting, we found that someone was cooking up hot dogs, hamburgers, and bratwurst for anyone hungry. They had a picnic earlier in the day and these were left. My stomach loved it then, but isn't totally happy several hours later.

I had the pleasure of speaking with an Al-Anon sponsee when I got home from the meeting. What a wonderful thing. I just love the girls in my life.

This evening an enjoyable hour was spent chatting on "The Second Road" during their regularly scheduled Sunday night chat 8-9 pm.

I am mentally and spiritually preparing for my pastoral care volunteering tomorrow. I received a call from the Chaplain's office on Friday letting me know that two new volunteers will be shadowing me on Monday. This makes me a little nervous so I'm actively turning it over to God.

I am remembering that I spent years before retirement training staff. I was a staff development person among other things. I know how to train. Why am I worrying??? Silly question. Just another thing I'm working on - reducing worry.

Love and prayers for all you bloggers.

Prayer Girl

Tuesday 7/14/09 - "REACHING OUT"

"REACHING OUT"

Alcoholics Anonymous: The Responsibility Declaration:
"I am responsible. When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there. And for that: I am responsible."

Al-Anon Declaration
"When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, let the hand of Al-Anon and Alateen always be there, and—Let It Begin With Me."

WHY DO I BLOG?
I AM RESPONSIBLE!!!

I blog as a way to clarify in my own mind and express my life experiences past and present.

I blog because when I allow my thoughts and feelings out, it somehow frees my spirit.

I blog because I believe in living the 12th step....carrying the message I have received in Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon to the alcoholic or person affected by alcoholism who still suffers and in practicing these principles in all my affairs which includes sharing them in my blog.

I blog because I have discovered many new friends as I write.

I blog because it is a wonderful way of "REACHING OUT"!

I blog in the hopes that my blog will provide some examples of quality sobriety - both sobriety from alcohol and emotional sobriety.

I blog in the hopes that my blogs will reach as many readers as possible and that God will use it to help others.

I blog because as other bloggers comment it expands my own blog reading world.
_______________________

A RESULT OF BLOGGING!
On July 10, I received the following email. It was a total surprise. It read in part:

We just posted an article, “Top 100 Overcoming Addiction Blogs” I thought I'd bring it to your attention in case you think your readers would find it interesting.

I am happy to let you know that your site has been included in this list.

(This publication was put out by the Online Nurse Practitioner Schools website.)
________________________
I was surprised, happy, and grateful to my Higher Power for providing me this opportunity to reach a wider readership. This list of addiction blogs is in sections such as "Best Alcoholic Blogs", "Best Drug Addict Blogs", Best Blogs of Those Who Have Addicts in the Family", etc. Some of the blog sites listed I already follow, but there are many more. What a wonderful chance to expand my world.
You might want to take a look.

Quote Today: "I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him." - Booker Washington

Prayer Girl

Sunday 6/14/09 - "ANOTHER DAY ON THE ROAD"

"ANOTHER DAY ON THE ROAD"

Hi everyone,

Well, it's "day 5" of our road trip. What a wonderful time I've had since arriving here in the "Land of Lincoln". Meeting bloggers and lots of other AA folk at a wonderful outdoor barbecue at the home of friend and fellow blogger, AKAnnie, was worth the 1200 mile trip. Met a fellow blogger from Canada who traveled more than twice that far to attend this sober gathering. The plan is to meet him this Sunday morning at a small little Catholic Church in town before leaving for our next stop.

After mass we'll be on our way to about 30 miles from here to visit "Our Lady of the Snows Shrine" in Belleville, Illinois. We've been there twice before over the last few years and it has become a very special destination. I'll try to get some pictures, but I know they will not be able to fully capture the beauty, peace and serenity of the place.

We've found several AA meetings in the area during past visits. I'm sure we'll make our way to a meeting today, tomorrow, or both....looking forward to that feeling of "being at home" that always happens in an AA room no matter where it is being held.

We'll be staying at the Shrine Hotel right on the shrine grounds with a restaurant and church within walking distance just across the road. We'll be there till Tuesday when we'll be back on the road and headed to stay with one of my sponsees for a few days. She and her husband have a newly built home on the top of a mountain in the Smoky Mountains of N.C. What a gracious offer for us to visit. God is good.

Signing off from our Super 8 motel in the middle of the corn fields,

Prayer Girl

Saturday 6/13/09 - "A FEW THINGS YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW"

"A FEW THINGS YOU
MIGHT NOT KNOW"

#1 - I have proven to myself that I can negotiate our brand new Toyota RAV4 on very small, winding, hilly, pot-holed,country roads in Southern Illinois. I was motivated by the fact that our destination was to meet a gracious blogger friend, her dear husband, and other friends on their lovely little piece of property in the woods off the main roads. In fact the setting reminded me of Robert Frost....."The woods are lovely, dark and deep."

#2 - I have written the "Final Scene" of my Flash Fiction Friday 55 serialized story blog. (It will be in waiting till I arrive at the end.) An author recently told my book club that when writing a story, the beginning and end should be written first and then everything in between.

#3 - I probably slept about 3 hours last night and had a full day today of driving from Paducah, Kentucky to a small town in Southern Illinois. We got settled in and I had about a half hour nap. We were then off to meet a blogger friend, AKAnnie, then to dinner at a wonderful buffet where I sampled more items than I could count, and went to a great meeting at which Annie received a 19 year medallion. What a wonderful day. And now I am dead tired.

#4 - The topic of the AA meeting tonight was change. If I'm going one way for too long, I best contemplate what might be possible by going another way.

#5 - I'm going to post this short blog and then hopefully sleep!!!

#6 - I still believe in the power of prayer and if I say I'll pray for you, I mean it.
I'll pray for you!

Prayer Girl