THE MIRACLE HAPPENED
I felt the need for an early AA meeting today. There is an 8:00 within minutes of my house. I go there seldom, but it's an AA meeting that can meet that early morning need when it arises.
Today we read a story from the BB, "My Bottle, My Resentments, and Me" p.437. This story is the first in the last section of stories, "They Lost Nearly All" and is a story of "alcoholism at its miserable worst."
Two quotes from this story reminded me of the miraculous power of God's intervention in my life:
One, "The next day we both quit drinking. There are no words to explain why it happened or how it happened; it just did. It was a miracle! Every day we were able to stay sober was another gift from a Higher Power I had given up on many long years before." (p. 442 - the writer of the story is talking about himself and the hard drinking woman he was living with who later became his wife.)
Two, "I believe that I am living proof of the A.A. saying "Don't give up until the miracle happens."" (p. 445)
When I awoke from my LAST DRUNK, I woke up a different person than the one who passed out the day before. This scene of passing out, waking up, being at my miserable worst had played itself out countless times. I would open my eyes and the horror, remorse, guilt, pain, and sorrow of my situation would engulf me.
BUT this last time, I woke up even physically sicker than I had been many times before, BUT - - SOMEHOW, there was the tiniest ray of hope in me. (I had no idea where that came from.) I also somehow knew I would not drink again. (I had no idea where that thought came from either.) I had no idea "how" I would stay sober since I had just proved to myself once again that I didn't know how to stay sober (I had been in and out of AA for several months), but......this time I knew I would be O.K. I finally understood what it meant to live just one day at a time. I dragged myself to an AA meeting to find out what to do "that day". It's been working that way ever since.
This was a miracle from God in all respects - getting sober and staying sober.
I have no explanation for what happened that morning.
Thank God I didn't give up before the miracle happened.