BIGGER FISH TO FRY?
Used to be I thought that surely God had "bigger fish to fry" than being concerned about me - my wants or needs. I was "just" a teeny tiny tadpole in the giant ocean of the universe - of insignificance at best and totally rejected at worst.
Perhaps this idea came from my personal view of myself - that I was unimportant, of little value, ugly (pigeon-toed, snaggle-toothed, too many physical flaws to name them all - at least in my own eyes), unlikeable, spiteful, unkind - you get this picture - a total screw-up!
Well, I don't believe God ever intended for me to have that idea of myself. My self-perceptions formed in the family I was raised in were faulty and further warped by alcohol.
God created me out of total love and loves me just as I am. I came to believe this as I worked the AA and Alanon steps and traveled the sober road to a future worth living.
In many AA rooms there are plaques saying, "YOU ARE NOT ALONE". I discovered that AA members were interested in me - a "smallfry". Upon arrival at AA, I felt I was less than nothing, yet all the people at my first meeting turned their loving attention towards me. Wow! I wasn't aware of it at that moment, but it really impressed me. That's what I needed - to feel like something bigger than a piece of S---.
I watch this repeated over and over as newcomers enter the rooms. It is a wonderful sight to watch people crawl into AA and Alanon, find sponsors, work the steps, become active participants in recovery, and undergo a transformation.
Thank God that God has no "bigger fish to fry", cares about all us little fish, and puts people in our path to guide us in recovery.