REFLECTIONS ON CHANGE, SPIRITUALITY, BELIEF, FAITH, PRAYER, AND MORE
Monday, February 15, 2010
Tuesday 2/16/10 - "NEIGHBORHOOD OF MY MIND"
"NEIGHBORHOOD OF MY MIND"
No matter how long I am sober and working the Alcoholics Anonymous program and no matter how long I have been a grateful member of All-Anon, I am still susceptible to my 'magic magnifying mind' (MMM) that likes to distort reality into a negative, sometimes dangerous, and a 'never a good outcome' neighborhood.
In reality, my worries and problems are pretty small, but once they enter the 'MMM' they multiply, grow, and can become quite ugly. Also, I don't need my own life to send me into that 'bad neighborhood'. The life situations of others, especially those I love can send me reeling into that place.
This is one of the reasons I so appreciate the idea that there is "my business" and "none of my business". Anxiety about others actions, decisions, and feelings are "none of my business". "My business" is to stay focused on positive solutions and share them with those in trouble - or with myself when I'm the one in trouble. I can only do this when I stay focused on myself and God.
Today's Al-Anon reader, "Hope for Today", 2/16, p. 47, includes the following: "When I think myself into a troubled state, I will remember this: Don't look around, look up." I need to look up to God to help me stay out of negativity, to pull me back from the brink of moving into that ugly neighborhood, and to pull me out when I have ventured in.
""It can help to replace obsessive thoughts with something positive, such as an Al-Anon slogan, the Serenity Prayer, or another comforting topic that has nothing to do with my problem." "Courage to Change", p. 306"
In addition to the Serenity Prayer, I have a few other prayers that I have learned along the way that I can repeat continuously until my mind turns around. I also can focus on lighting my 11 candles and praying. It takes time to get them all lit, say prayers, and snuff them out. This ritual sometimes allows me the time I need to pry my mind off of the problem and get it turned to the solution. Getting to a meeting or picking up the phone to speak with a program friend can also help move me to the positive. Even choosing to try a new recipe and getting busy in the kitchen can help. Thank God I have these tools.
This blog is for me today. I need it. If it helps another, I thank God.
Prayer Girl (Photo credit: The Neighborhood by TY Photography@deviantart.com)
I'm sober in AA since July 5th 1985, and a grateful member of Alanon since November 2004.
I joined the "blogosphere" in September, 2008.
In December 2011 I became a grandmother for the first time and now understand why it's such a big deal. I'm wildly in love again with that little guy.