Monday, February 15, 2010

Tuesday 2/16/10 - "NEIGHBORHOOD OF MY MIND"


No matter how long I am sober and working the Alcoholics Anonymous program and no matter how long I have been a grateful member of All-Anon, I am still susceptible to my 'magic magnifying mind' (MMM) that likes to distort reality into a negative, sometimes dangerous, and a 'never a good outcome' neighborhood.

In reality, my worries and problems are pretty small, but once they enter the 'MMM' they multiply, grow, and can become quite ugly. Also, I don't need my own life to send me into that 'bad neighborhood'. The life situations of others, especially those I love can send me reeling into that place.

This is one of the reasons I so appreciate the idea that there is "my business" and "none of my business". Anxiety about others actions, decisions, and feelings are "none of my business". "My business" is to stay focused on positive solutions and share them with those in trouble - or with myself when I'm the one in trouble. I can only do this when I stay focused on myself and God.

Today's Al-Anon reader, "Hope for Today", 2/16, p. 47, includes the following:
"When I think myself into a troubled state, I will remember this: Don't look around, look up."
I need to look up to God to help me stay out of negativity, to pull me back from the brink of moving into that ugly neighborhood, and to pull me out when I have ventured in.

""It can help to replace obsessive thoughts with something positive, such as an Al-Anon slogan, the Serenity Prayer, or another comforting topic that has nothing to do with my problem." "Courage to Change", p. 306"

In addition to the Serenity Prayer, I have a few other prayers that I have learned along the way that I can repeat continuously until my mind turns around. I also can focus on lighting my 11 candles and praying. It takes time to get them all lit, say prayers, and snuff them out. This ritual sometimes allows me the time I need to pry my mind off of the problem and get it turned to the solution. Getting to a meeting or picking up the phone to speak with a program friend can also help move me to the positive. Even choosing to try a new recipe and getting busy in the kitchen can help. Thank God I have these tools.

This blog is for me today. I need it. If it helps another, I thank God.

Prayer Girl
(Photo credit: The Neighborhood by TY


Gabriella Moonlight said...

This did help know it's so easy for me to get too wrapped up in others lives or my own and it is the necessary rituals and the the necessary joys that I do focus on, even when it seems awkward to do so...i am reminded that mine is a spiritual program.

Syd said...

I do the MMM some days but not nearly as much as I used to. I believe that I fully understand that I have no power over another and I never did. What they do is not up to me or done because of me. So true about minding my own business.

clean and crazy said...

i have a triple m too. we spent saturday night dealing with such a state of chaos that i thought it would be the end of our relationship.

i struggle with accepting the fact that i am not married but we have been together for 4 years now. we have a child and are raising 2 of my children from different relationships.

my mind can make it such a negative thing that i am not wanted or i am not good enough to marry. we cried for several hours until i could come back into reality.

then we called into the bridges meeting and listened but i am going to an out of town meeting tonight. i know when i focus on my recovery, my triple m is less of a threat.

great post, i need to make more time to stop by more often.

Jennifer said...

This is a GREAT post. Back to basics it is this week - lots of good reminders and this is superbly written. Thank you OPG!

I have been in a recent position where I am actually mis-understood because I'm not "all out of whack" about someone else's life problems. It isn't my life, my life is mine - their life is their own. Live and LET LIVE!


Marcia said...

You can thank God because it helped me too.

Kim A. said...

I really like your candle ritual. Anything that can quiet my mind for a few moments stops the obsessing for a bit. A great tool!


Tall Kay said...

Your shares are always just what I needed to hear. I find the most peace when I'm right-sized and no magic magnified glasses on. I love the candle ritual too...may have to try that. God bless you!

Kathy M. said...

What a helpful, uplifting post. I also liked that bit from "Hope for Today," which has become a favorite of mine. Thanks for sharing these great tools. I'd like to try the candles sometime.

sarah said...

great post...I've been feeling down. This really helped.