REFLECTIONS ON CHANGE, SPIRITUALITY, BELIEF, FAITH, PRAYER, AND MORE
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Tuesday 5/4/10 - "MOMENTS"
"Life is a succession of moments. To live each one is to succeed." - Corita Kent
My moments have become so precious to me. My appreciation for life has grown slowly, but surely from the day I got sober July 5th, 1985. For the first time in a long time I felt hope when I opened my eyes that day and I began my lessons in "Life Appreciation".
I took "Art Appreciation" and "Music Appreciation" in college, but what I really needed was "Life Appreciation". Surrender was my entry into that class. I had to be dragged down so far by my own character defects as I stumbled through the years that I became willing to open my eyes, ears, and mind to the material God wanted to present.
The years since then have provided one lesson after another in the art of appreciating life each moment as it unfolds. Yesterday was no exception. Someone else's life brought me a deeper appreciation of my own.
When I volunteer in the hospital I work a 4 hour shift. Typically I take about a 20 minute break midway through to have a coffee and a little something to eat. I typically see from 10 - 15 patients. It varies. My philosophy is quality, not quantity, but I do make sure I see all those where a visit has been requested. Yesterday I worked the full 4 hours with no break whatsoever and I visited 7 patients. This was unusual.
I spent at least an hour with a lady who has been battling breast cancer for 7 years. She was planning a trip to her daughter's college graduation in two weeks. She went to to the doctor to be sure all was stable with her medical condition and they did an MRI and found three brain tumors. One was very large and wrapped around a major blood vessel. She was told she had 10 days to 2 weeks to live. They were sending her home with a referral to Hospice and pain medications.
This woman told me she did not believe in God or Heaven, was abused as a child, married what she termed a useless man, and has had a terribly difficult life including her battle with cancer. My impression was that she wasn't as much bitter as sad. She kept telling me she was angry, but the emotion expressed was deep, deep sadness. She had been looking forward to her later years - watching one of her children graduate and both children marry. She had hoped to enjoy grandchildren. She had a dream - a plan - with a dear friend to share a home together. None of this will happen and it will all be cut short very soon.
I just kept praying silently for direction. I listened. She told me during our conversation that she had been a massage therapist till the strength in her arms left her. Near the end of our time together I told her that since she had done massage I assumed she knew the power of touch. She agreed and I asked if I could place my hands on her head. She said, "yes". As I placed my hands on her she said, "This world is touch-deprived". I know God had his purposes in this visit. I know they weren't about me and I place no limits on God. If God placed some peace into this woman, I am happy.
When I got home I was exhausted. I took a nap, walked the dog, and had several phone calls from sponsees during the afternoon and evening. Each activity was a blessing for me.
I wonder what God has ready for the moments of this day - AND YOURS.
(Photo credit: Water World by Connie Publicover - Kodak picture of the day)
I'm sober in AA since July 5th 1985, and a grateful member of Alanon since November 2004.
I joined the "blogosphere" in September, 2008.
In December 2011 I became a grandmother for the first time and now understand why it's such a big deal. I'm wildly in love again with that little guy.