Tuesday 9/15/09 - "HEAVY, BUT FLYING"

"HEAVY, BUT FLYING"

Being a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous and a member of Al-Anon allows me to fly even when I may be feeling sort of "heavy". I heard many years ago in meetings and still do to "wear life like a loose garment". If life feels restrictive, we can loosen the bindings by using the steps and principles of the program.

What are some of the things we can do to lighten us when we are feeling "heavy laden"? How can we fly even when heavy?

An important thing in my kit of spiritual tools is to remember that I took Step 3 and turned my life over to God and when I reflect on the fact that I believe nothing happens in God's world by accident, then I can sigh a huge sigh of relief knowing all will be well. As that air escapes me, I lift up and begin to fly.

A very powerful tool to relieve heaviness is reviewing my own experience, strength, and hope. Nothing is more capable of producing hope and a positive attitude than looking at my own history. I reflect on the hopeless state of mind and body that I was in and remember the miracle of sobriety and all the good things in my life that have flowed from that.

Another powerful tool I have to lighten the load is prayer. I believe that prayers are heard and answered. I also believe that God's answers are always what are best for me and everyone involved. God always answers - sometimes yes, sometimes no, sometimes not yet. I have faith that God's will is best.

Sharing problems with a sponsor or a trusted friend lightens the load. A problem shared is a problem cut in half.

God is everywhere. God's presence is always very strong in an Alcoholics Anonymous or Al-Anon meeting so if I want to have a lift in spirits, I go to a meeting.

I would be remiss if I didn't say that putting things out to the blogging community is an excellent way to help dispel heaviness. There is such love, support, and positive feedback available just for the blogging. :)

Prayer Girl

(Photo credit: Flying by Kelli States)

Tuesday, 4/14/09 - PICTURES OF POWERLESSNESS"

"PICTURES OF POWERLESSNESS"

When I visit or volunteer at the hospital I am always struck by the stark "powerlessness" the patients there are experiencing. It reminds me of my "powerlessness" - of our "powerlessness".

I knocked on a patient's door and was invited into the room. As I entered, the lady in the room jumped up from a chair . She was quite agitated and said she was very disturbed. When she heard the knock at the door, she hoped it was someone arriving to transport her to surgery. She said that because it was a Holiday weekend, she had to wait over the entire weekend for her surgery, it was scheduled for 7:30 a.m. in the morning and I entered the room about 10:30 and she was still waiting. POWERLESS!

When I crossed over that line into alcoholism, it was subtle and I was totally unaware of the fact it happened till much later. From the moment I crossed it, I was powerless over alcohol. My drinking escalated without any ability to prevent it. When I drank, I was powerless over the outcome - how much I would drink or how it might affect me or others. It was not a pretty scene. POWERLESS!

Other people often do not behave the way I would like them to. They make choices and decisions that I may not think are wise. I have no control over them. I am POWERLESS!

I think of Hurricane Wilma as the winds began to howl in the deepest part of a night in October of 2006. The winds were so strong that all the exterior and interior doors shook and rattled as the force of the wind found its way through the slightest cracks of all the doors and windows of the house. I had prepared a space in our walk-in closet 'just in case' and spent several terrifying hours through those long dark hours debating whether to lie still or go to the closet. POWERLESS!

I learned about powerlessness when I took step one in the Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon programs. I can only say, "Thank God there is a step two and three". Without step three I would have been unable to admit my total lack of power. I needed a power greater than myself. Once I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God, then I was able to admit being POWERLESS!

Prayer Girl

(Photo credit: Storm by sjculley)