"SELF-SEEKING WILL SLIP AWAY"
("Alcoholics Anonymous", p. 84 - 7th 9th step promise)
There is total relief in not having to be concerned with "ME" all the time - my wants, my thoughts, my plans, my dreams, my goals, my... me, me, me, my, my, my!!!
"Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased.....What usually happens? The show doesn't come off very well."
("Alcoholics Anonymous", p. 60-61)
When I read these words, I saw me in them. I could see myself forever trying to direct the show to meet my ideas and expectations and then watch the arrangements never working out. It was as hopeless as the merry-go-round of alcoholism I was on. The steps of Alcoholics Anonymous allowed me to step off the carousel of alcoholism and allowed me to give up the need to direct. I handed all direction over to God.
My alcoholism had brought me to a point where I was willing to go to any lengths to relieve the confusion, pain, and spiritual bankruptcy of my disease. I became willing to look honestly at myself - the good, the bad, and the in-between. The result was freedom from myself, from my self-seeking. It was replaced with a desire to think about and help others. The more I gave away what I found in AA, the more I received back - one of those beautiful paradoxes of our program.
Self-seeking has slipped away - replaced by an interest in my fellows. What a beautiful promise fulfilled!
Prayer Girl
("Alcoholics Anonymous", p. 84 - 7th 9th step promise)
There is total relief in not having to be concerned with "ME" all the time - my wants, my thoughts, my plans, my dreams, my goals, my... me, me, me, my, my, my!!!
"Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased.....What usually happens? The show doesn't come off very well."
("Alcoholics Anonymous", p. 60-61)
When I read these words, I saw me in them. I could see myself forever trying to direct the show to meet my ideas and expectations and then watch the arrangements never working out. It was as hopeless as the merry-go-round of alcoholism I was on. The steps of Alcoholics Anonymous allowed me to step off the carousel of alcoholism and allowed me to give up the need to direct. I handed all direction over to God.
My alcoholism had brought me to a point where I was willing to go to any lengths to relieve the confusion, pain, and spiritual bankruptcy of my disease. I became willing to look honestly at myself - the good, the bad, and the in-between. The result was freedom from myself, from my self-seeking. It was replaced with a desire to think about and help others. The more I gave away what I found in AA, the more I received back - one of those beautiful paradoxes of our program.
Self-seeking has slipped away - replaced by an interest in my fellows. What a beautiful promise fulfilled!
NOTE:
I want to thank A. Miles at TSR (The Second Road) for asking me to host the Sunday night chat. I had a wonderful time. God was there. Our topic was journeys our recovery has led us on and I could have talked in the chat room all night. :)
Prayer Girl
