THE MIRACLE HAPPENED
I felt the need for an early AA meeting today. There is an 8:00 within minutes of my house. I go there seldom, but it's an AA meeting that can meet that early morning need when it arises.
Today we read a story from the BB, "My Bottle, My Resentments, and Me" p.437. This story is the first in the last section of stories, "They Lost Nearly All" and is a story of "alcoholism at its miserable worst."
Two quotes from this story reminded me of the miraculous power of God's intervention in my life:
One, "The next day we both quit drinking. There are no words to explain why it happened or how it happened; it just did. It was a miracle! Every day we were able to stay sober was another gift from a Higher Power I had given up on many long years before." (p. 442 - the writer of the story is talking about himself and the hard drinking woman he was living with who later became his wife.)
Two, "I believe that I am living proof of the A.A. saying "Don't give up until the miracle happens."" (p. 445)
When I awoke from my LAST DRUNK, I woke up a different person than the one who passed out the day before. This scene of passing out, waking up, being at my miserable worst had played itself out countless times. I would open my eyes and the horror, remorse, guilt, pain, and sorrow of my situation would engulf me.
BUT this last time, I woke up even physically sicker than I had been many times before, BUT - - SOMEHOW, there was the tiniest ray of hope in me. (I had no idea where that came from.) I also somehow knew I would not drink again. (I had no idea where that thought came from either.) I had no idea "how" I would stay sober since I had just proved to myself once again that I didn't know how to stay sober (I had been in and out of AA for several months), but......this time I knew I would be O.K. I finally understood what it meant to live just one day at a time. I dragged myself to an AA meeting to find out what to do "that day". It's been working that way ever since.
This was a miracle from God in all respects - getting sober and staying sober.
I have no explanation for what happened that morning.
Thank God I didn't give up before the miracle happened.
11 comments:
That's a wonderful story PG. And one that is played out in so many meeting rooms across the world. That tiny little glimmer of hope...I love it :)
Hope, and then I began to TRUST that my Higher Power IS within me (pg 55 in BB) and is there to help me through this process of getting better.
one moment in time, and everything changes.
Thanks for sharing. I'm going to read that story in the BB. It's incredible how there is a decision to live, really live, rather than just continue existing.
I've often wondered if we find the miracle or the miracle finds us?
I honestly can't explain why I'm sober and clean today. It's a most wonderful gift from my Higher Power. I'm glad you shared this. Gave me lots of gratitude.
I love this story and love to hear of the moment that it seems no one can define, when we decided to surrender and there was that *ray of hope* that we long for! Thank you for the reminder today!
Love
G
One of my very favorite stories!
My miracle happened in my bathroom the morning of March 31, 2008.
I woke up in similar circumstance on June 11, 2007. Nothing particularly different about that evenings drunk and that morning. I just couldn't put it together to go to work. Just couldn't yet I couldn't go back to sleep it off either. I knew I could no longer do it alone. I knew the "I'll never drink again" vow wouldn't work. I hadn't found AA yet but I did spend my day online researching alcoholism and recovery. Found this forum as well as my yahoo group. And both groups led me to AA 2 weeks later. And AA led me to my Higher Power and sobriety. Miracle.
I finally got it with Al-A on June 8, 08. But God had been trying to get my attention for a year before that. I'm sort of deaf, I guess.
It is so amazing the way our psychic change occurs.
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